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The Pain of Staying the Same

September 3, 2011 in Answering God's Call, Church, Church Planting, Meaningful Work, Work with 1 Comment

"We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change." — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I've heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I've battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I've faced a lot of different choices/issues. I've tried various things that didn't work out or didn't work out as I had planned. I've wavered between doing many different things with myself. I've blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I'm at a place where from the outside, people who don't really understand my heart/calling would say I'm on a really solid career path with a bright future. I'm glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I'm doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I've got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we're living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I'm leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I'm basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I've been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I've tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I'll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

The Elephant in the Pew

June 30, 2011 in Church, Church Planting, Passion, Work with 2 Comments

People that know me understand there are not a lot of things that get me fired up as much as God’s Church. I’ve devoted much of the past 16 years to serving in, dreaming about, preparing for service in, and helping others find their fit in Church. I absolutely think that one of God’s greatest tools is the Church globally and He is and will continue to use the Church to change the world. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that has the potential to impact and effect the world for good and Godly purposes than the Church. We cannot accomplish God’s mission for our lives apart from the Church.

The problem: There is an elephant in the pew and chances are it is you!

If you’ve been around any group of “church people” for any amount of time, you’ve probably noticed something. We like food, in fact we LOVE IT! We fully embrace that God called all food clean and live our lives in such a way to experience all aspects of His food! The churches that I grew up in and around had dinners, potlucks, picnics, gatherings, Life Groups, and even a small wafer and juice during the service! My wife’s home church has published cookbooks and certainly spent a lot of time dining with one another.

Our excuse: Fellowship. We see that Jesus dined with his disciples and followers to grow in relationship with them. I think that is important, but we just seem to have an affair with food. These potlucks are not filled with lettuce salads and grilled chicken breasts. They are filled with casseroles that contain three types of cream of something soup, noodles, and ground beef, along with a whole host of delicious but anti-nutritious foods.

Look around you the next time you’re in a church service. Chances are that many of the folks sitting near you will be overweight. I know these folks have hurts surrounding their weight. They are ashamed of how the look and feel, they go to great lengths to cover themselves up, and they also pretend it does not matter. They’ve spent a lot of their lives dealing with this stuff and it really stinks! I’ve been there, done that, got the fat jeans. I’m not going back!

Leading from the Front

Many of us are called to serving in churches around the globe and God has given us great influence over His people. We are responsible for helping others live fully devoted, Christ centered lives. I’ve become convinced that there are a lot of areas that we really let these folks down. We don’t always teach them how to use God’s resources wisely by incurring debt as a church. We don’t always show them how to live out the Great Commission because we are too busy “working in the church”. We also don’t lead well with our health and fitness. Make no mistake, church planters in particular, lead stress -filled lives. Stress induces a cortisol response in our bodies, which leads to those monster truck tires around our middle sections. Stress, at least for me, really makes me eat poorly, sleep poorly, and just funks me out!

One of the things that I’ve been encouraged by is Saddleback’s Daniel Plan, completely focused on getting an entire church healthy through eating right and moving. Simple? Yep! Do-able? Yep. If a church of 30,000 can do it, how much more effectively can a church of 50 do it?

Men and women leaders: How are you modeling health and wellness to those you lead? Make no mistake, people notice what you do. People notice how you lead your daily life. Take the steps that you need to do in order to get your bodily temple in order.

I’d love to walk with your through that…I’m no where near perfect, but I’m working my tail off(literally) to transform my body. Reach out and I’ll be glad to chat! Alternatively, head over to my fitness site at GetFitDaily.net!

Toil: The Search for Meaning

August 10, 2010 in Passion, Work with 0 Comments

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“That everyone may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all his toil-this is the gift of God.” Ecclesiates 3:13

Toil is a word that isn’t used much anymore. For those of you (as I did) who think that toil is another four letter word for work, take a second to think about how the word used to be used. You see, in the good old days (think before electricity and English with thees and thous) toil meant something deeper. Toil was used, according to Miriam-Webster, to describe a battle or struggle. I find it very interesting that these words would be used to describe what we would now translate as ‘work’. Quite fitting, if you ask me! Moreover, toil can also be described in it’s verb form as, “to proceed laboriously; advance or move with painful effort or difficulty”. I don’t know about you, but just the thought of toiling makes me tired!

Seriously, though, how often do we (I) want the easy road when it comes to work? For me, I want a 40 hour work week with 8 hour days or to be self employed with the freedom to use my time as I see fit. I want to say that I would be happy then, but truth-be-told, I’d still find something to whine about. Toiling isn’t easy. It is often painful. It is work and takes work.

If we are supposed to find satisfaction in our toiling, as the wise author of Ecclesiastes suggests, then how is that accomplished in light of what toiling actually is? In all honesty, there have been very few times in my life where I have found satisfaction/meaning in my daily toil. I can vividly picture the places and people that I toiled alongside and served that brought that satisfaction. I believe, friends, that is called the sweet spot.

If you’re anything like me, you remember a time where you hit your sweet spot. You remember the sights, sounds, and smells of those moments. You remember the feeling of true satisfaction of a ‘job well done’. You remember truly feeling alive.In that moment, you found your meaning. Can you go back there? Can you work in that sweet spot? Why or why not?

That, my friends, is the meaning of toil. Now go find your sweet spot! I’d love to hear your story. Please feel free to chime in!

Becoming Human

February 24, 2008 in Church Planting, Work with 2 Comments

I’ve been mulling over a lot of things lately. I have a ton of stuff going on in my head and heart that really is hard to get together into one cohesive thought. I finally came to realize tonight that the thing that I am struggling with most isn’t what the future looks like in terms of ministry, work or even our life. I’m struggling with my own humanity. I’m struggling to identify who I am a person and what exactly I’m here for. Here is what I mean….

You see, for a long time I struggled with my vocation. For me, this was evidently how I measured my own contribution to humanity. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to connect the thing that feeds my family with the thing that feeds my soul. I’m not sure why I struggle mightily to make those two worlds collide. I can name countless folks in my life who have made a tremendous impact on humanity apart from their vocation, so I’m not sure where I picked up this idea. The good news is that I think I’ve come to terms with the dicotomy that exists between vocation and contribution. (That is not to say that I’ve put it fully into practice, but I’ve come to an ideological understanding of the concept.)

I’ve said on numerous occasions that I have had many ideas about what I would like to be when I grow up. Those of you closest to me know this to be true. I’ve wanted to be everything from a medical doctor to a police officer to a teaching pastor and pretty much everything in between. This makes perfect sense in the context of the quest for vocation and life mission. I’m at the point where none of that really matters. I’ve come to the realization that difference makers are difference makers in spite of that which puts food on their table.

The people that make a difference in this world are simply humans fighting to make the world a better place. The people who make a difference don’t do it because they get paid to do it, they do it because the can’t not do it. I’ve been on a futile quest for far too long. I’m on a quest to become human, making this world a better place just by being me. I’m no longer searching to put a label on my life by what I do for a living. I’m okay with that, I hope that you are as well.

I hope that you’ll join with me in the journey to becoming human in order to save the world. Part of that journey is becoming “even more undignified than this” and “join the barbarian tribe and to embrace our call as mystical warriors” (Erwin McManus in The Barbarian Way).

The Future of the Church, Part Two

October 14, 2007 in Church, Church Planting, Work with 1 Comment

Two weekends ago I had the opportunity to take part in both a worship experience and an online LifeGroup. I’ve gotta say that it was a cool experience. On Saturday, the whole family gathered around the laptop for a time of worship. The experience was live, which added to the coolness of it. You don’t feel like you are just watching a previously recorded sermon, but like you are actually involved in the entire experience.

On Sunday evening I joined an online LifeGroup. I must admit, I was skeptical of the viability of this option even after hearing the stories from my other post on the Future of the Church. The discussion was good and probably the most interesting part was the openness of the people involved. One thing I learned from my days in AOL chatrooms, people will say a lot of things when they are behind their keyboard. This really lends itself to the purpose of LifeGroups. The other cool thing is that most anyone can wander into your gathering. We had several people who just popped in and out and then in again. The interesting thing is that these are people who would probably not set foot in my house to take part in a group setting. Their reasons vary, but several of the people who came last night are in a place that is far from God and they are making strides to draw near to him. The LifeGroup setting could very well be the catalyst that is needed to help them feel like they can get involved in a ‘real’ church setting.

This weekend, as my daughter is beginning to cut her teeth, we didn’t attend our normal church, but we were able to attend the Lifechurch.tv Internet Campus. While I was taking part in the experience, one of my friends started chatting with me and I told him I was ‘going to church’. He then went to check out the Internet Campus and was totally blown away. You can view his thoughts here. We both took part in LifeGroup tonight. Not sure what his thoughts on that are.

So what is the future of the church? While technology can play an important role in the future of the church, I don’t think that it is the answer. I do think that it can be a huge catalyst to begin neighborhood churches that grow by introducing friends and neighbors to Jesus by having them in your home and worshiping/studying. I think that the possibilities are endless, really.

As I said in an earlier post, there are ways of doing ministry that we haven’t even thought of yet. I laid down some serious vision to a couple of people yesterday. The response was surprisingly positive from two of the people that I value most. One of the things that has messed me up in the past was when my friend Chris Elrod asked his blog readers if they had the chance to be a part of a revolution, would they settle for starting a church? I’m not. The Metropolitan area of Orlando needs more than just a church. The revolution is coming…Are you in?

Grand Central

October 14, 2007 in Work with 0 Comments

A friend of mine, Jeff Bristow, invited me to join Grand Central today. Grand Central has recently been acquired by Google. What is Grand Central? Grand Central is this really cool site that offers you to have one number that can ring up to 6 different numbers, including your VOIP connection through the Gizmo Project. Why would that be useful? If you are required to move often and thus change your number often this is perfect for you. If you have a business who has a website or operates solely on the net, there is no longer a need for a separate line. You can set up Grand Central to show that the Grand Central number is calling so you know that exactly where that number is coming from. One reason why I think it is cool is that we are moving in the Spring, so I can now have an Orlando number that people there can call and not use any long distance time on their end. Pretty sweet!

If you want to check it out, I have some invites to hand out. Let me know if you want one! Leave a comment or email me!

Church and Ministry Credit Card/Debit Card Processing

September 23, 2007 in Church, Church Planting, Work with 0 Comments

I’ve recently joined a group called The Tentmaker Group who has teamed up with Simplefy, Inc. to offer the best credit card processing rates available.

Simpl�fy is a consulting arm for First Data. In our unique partnership we are able to leverage and negotiate the best pricing for our prospective clients. Typically, the merchant processing and the management of the processing portfolio of any company are handled by an Independent Service Organization or “ISO”. This “third party” vendor, be it Chase Merchant Services, Wells Fargo etc purchases the processing from First Data and resells it to the merchant.

Simpl�fy can provide the most cost effective pricing for prospective clients because they literally usher the merchant directly to the source, thus the merchant receives their processing and contract from a FDMS (First Data Merchant Services) alliance bank. Simpl�fy/FDMS conducts an audit of the prospect’s current fee schedule and exposes compliance issues that cost the merchant even more money, i.e?? Downgrades, EIRFs and any other compliance issue. Most ISO(s) encrypt day to day processing to make such compliance issues invisible to the untrained eye. We are committed to illuminating such fees and eliminating the “fat and gristle” in your merchant portfolio.

This opportunity not only provides Churches and Ministries with the ability to go with the global leader in credit card processing, but Simplefy will invest monthly on new accounts into Tentmakers. Tentmakers, through consultants like myself, will invest these monies into church planting and city transformation.

A huge distinction with Simplefy is the rates that you can get for accepting debit/check cards. Unlike many providers, Simplefy offers a separate rate for signature debit cards and pin debit cards. The savings for your bottom line in this area is HUGE!

Churches and Ministries: Recieve a free credit card processing audit for your church or ministry. If you are currently using any processing source, especially PayPal or the like, your ministry cannot afford not to take advantage of this free opportunity.

Companies: Recieve a free credit card processing audit for your company. Learn why companies such as DisneyLand, Wal-Mart and Jimmy Choo go directly to First Data to get the best rates and get support directly from the provider. Even if you do not currently accept cards, we can help you get set up.

Tony Wheeler dot Net