The Pain of Staying the Same

September 3, 2011 in Answering God's Call, Church, Church Planting, Meaningful Work, Work with 1 Comment

The Pain of Staying the Same

"We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change." — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I've heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I've battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I've faced a lot of different choices/issues. I've tried various things that didn't work out or didn't work out as I had planned. I've wavered between doing many different things with myself. I've blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I'm at a place where from the outside, people who don't really understand my heart/calling would say I'm on a really solid career path with a bright future. I'm glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I'm doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I've got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we're living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

The Pain of Staying the Same

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I'm leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I'm basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I've been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I've tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I'll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

Redemption of a Sith Lord

August 29, 2011 in Uncategorized with 2 Comments

Never_Beyond_vader

My friends over at People of the Second Chance are doing a pretty sweet thing. They are profiling people in history that many view as beyond redemption or second chances. They’ve invited us into the conversation. They are doing a series of posters that highlight these figures, then invite thoughts on who we would and wouldn’t give second chances to. The end is to draw out stories of forgiveness and grace, then picture what second chances look like. Without further ado, the current entry is:  LORD VADER

For the old school crew, we know this joker as Lord Vader, the baddest dude in the galaxy. Folks under 25 know this guy as someone completely different. A little guy named Anakin Skywalker who raced some serious pod, was a prodigy Jedi, and pretty smooth with the ladies.

How does one go from having the world by the proverbial horns to becoming arguably the most villainy-villain around? A choice. You know, THAT choice. Most of us have been there, our world crashing in around us while faced with two paths diverging. Which way to go? Left, we become the Dark Sith Lord. Right, we become the Jedi Master and save the universe. Obviously, the young Anakin chose to become the Dark Sith Lord, maybe with good reason. He lost his mother to rebel kidnappers. He loved a girl that he couldn’t really have, to top it off said girl was with child. Throw in some career possibilities and it is pretty easy to see how young Anakin cracked and chose the path of least resistance.

The man Vader learned from some of the best on how to cause mayhem. He was very good. You don’t become the leader of the not-so-free universe without being good at being bad.

Do you know how Vader’s story ends? Essentially, his mentor Palpatine is ticked at Luke (Vader’s son, if you didn’t know) because Luke refuses to take over command from Vader. Palpatine gets rather upset and unleashes a torrent of lightning upon Luke. Crying out, suffering an excruciating electrocution…Eventually Vader just can’t take it anymore and steps in for his son. That was Vader’s Second Chance, his chance at redemption. You know the beautiful thing? He took it. He extended himself the opportunity to prove that he was never beyond second chances.

I don’t know about you, but I have Vader moments myself. Actually, I’m going through some serious Anakin/Vader choices now. Not that I’m choosing between becoming a Sith Lord and a Jedi, but the principle is the same. A question comes to mind. Can you go back to being Anakin after being Vader for so long? I tend to believe in the redemptive work of God to restore and/or make new. Looking forward to being a Jedi again…How about you?

Beyond Punched Out

August 21, 2011 in Uncategorized with 13 Comments

My friends over at People of the Second Chance are doing a pretty sweet thing. They are profiling people in history that many view as beyond redemption or second chances. They’ve invited us into the conversation. They are doing a series of posters that highlight these figures, then invite thoughts on who we would and wouldn’t give second chances to. The end is to draw out stories of forgiveness and grace, then picture what second chances look like. Without further ado, the current entry is:


I don’t know about you, but something about Mike Tyson is almost surreal. Maybe it is because long before I even knew what a face tattoo would look like, I was playing Mike Tyson’s Punch Out on Nintendo. Now, of course when the game is named after you, you’ve got to win. You’re the good guy. You’re the hero. And I’ll bet for many kids/teens growing up in the 80′s, Tyson was just that. A hero. Yes, I know he has done some bad things, but who hasn’t? Yeah, I haven’t raped anyone, nor have I bitten anyone’s ear off..But I’ve done plenty I’m not proud of. The problem most of us face is that we get blinded by tiger fur. We start to believe our our hype. Our ego soon becomes bigger than the MGM Grand and we actually believe that Don King is looking out for us.

Tyson is a person of second chances. At first glance that sentence seems weird. Second chances means more than one and really the term second chance implies that it happens once. Are our transgressions always the same? For some of us, yes. For others, we take delight in sampling from the cornucopia of sin, getting a second chance from each one. Then there is THE second chance…You know, the big one where you surrender your whole self, turning away from what you were to the life that you’ve been redeemed to.

It has happened for me and many people I know and love. Can it happen for Mike? You bet. Is he beyond a second chance? Maybe a better question is, are you? If you can answer that question, then you’ll have an answer for Mike because the same grace and forgiveness we bestow upon ourselves, we MUST extend to others. Even high pitched voice dude who cuddles with tigers and will have a funny face at 85 years old.

Love to hear your thoughts…

The Elephant in the Pew

June 30, 2011 in Church, Church Planting, Passion, Work with 2 Comments

These Elephants are Just Plain Pretty!

People that know me understand there are not a lot of things that get me fired up as much as God’s Church. I’ve devoted much of the past 16 years to serving in, dreaming about, preparing for service in, and helping others find their fit in Church. I absolutely think that one of God’s greatest tools is the Church globally and He is and will continue to use the Church to change the world. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that has the potential to impact and effect the world for good and Godly purposes than the Church. We cannot accomplish God’s mission for our lives apart from the Church.

The problem: There is an elephant in the pew and chances are it is you!

If you’ve been around any group of “church people” for any amount of time, you’ve probably noticed something. We like food, in fact we LOVE IT! We fully embrace that God called all food clean and live our lives in such a way to experience all aspects of His food! The churches that I grew up in and around had dinners, potlucks, picnics, gatherings, Life Groups, and even a small wafer and juice during the service! My wife’s home church has published cookbooks and certainly spent a lot of time dining with one another.

Our excuse: Fellowship. We see that Jesus dined with his disciples and followers to grow in relationship with them. I think that is important, but we just seem to have an affair with food. These potlucks are not filled with lettuce salads and grilled chicken breasts. They are filled with casseroles that contain three types of cream of something soup, noodles, and ground beef, along with a whole host of delicious but anti-nutritious foods.

Look around you the next time you’re in a church service. Chances are that many of the folks sitting near you will be overweight. I know these folks have hurts surrounding their weight. They are ashamed of how the look and feel, they go to great lengths to cover themselves up, and they also pretend it does not matter.  They’ve spent a lot of their lives dealing with this stuff and it really stinks! I’ve been there, done that, got the fat jeans. I’m not going back!

Leading from the Front

Many of us are called to serving in churches around the globe and God has given us great influence over His people. We are responsible for helping others live fully devoted, Christ centered lives. I’ve become convinced that there are a lot of areas that we really let these folks down. We don’t always teach them how to use God’s resources wisely by incurring debt as a church. We don’t always show them how to live out the Great Commission because we are too busy “working in the church”.  We also don’t lead well with our health and fitness. Make no mistake, church planters in particular, lead stress -filled lives. Stress induces a cortisol response in our bodies, which leads to those monster truck tires around our middle sections. Stress, at least for me, really makes me eat poorly, sleep poorly, and just funks me out!

One of the things that I’ve been encouraged by is Saddleback’s Daniel Plan, completely focused on getting an entire church healthy through eating right and moving. Simple? Yep! Do-able? Yep. If a church of 30,000 can do it, how much more effectively can a church of 50 do it?

Men and women leaders: How are you modeling health and wellness to those you lead? Make no mistake, people notice what you do. People notice how you lead your daily life. Take the steps that you need to do in order to get your bodily temple in order.

I’d love to walk with your through that…I’m no where near perfect, but I’m working my tail off(literally) to transform my body. Reach out and I’ll be glad to chat! Alternatively, head over to my fitness site at GetFitDaily.net!

The Grass Over There is Greener

April 12, 2011 in Uncategorized with 3 Comments

green grass

Over the past few weeks I have been doing some landscaping and overall yard maintenance. I’ve learned a thing or two about various types of turf grasses, how many cubic feet of mulch come in a bag, and the best ways to keep a nearly four year old involved without really giving her anything to do.

One of the larger projects is the installation of the lawn itself. I purchased a bunch of sheets of sod, carted them home in my trusty Suzuki, and laid them down on the already prepared soil. Done, right? Not by a long shot! You see, the first two weeks are critical. You gotta keep it watered daily and nurture it along until it really takes root. You basically have got to be all in on this deal otherwise you might as well use the cash as kindling.

We’re like that beautiful Empire Zoysia in my front yard. We need feeding, nurturing, and care so that we will grow. I’m focused on balance this year. A balanced life, like a balance lawn, produces something beautiful. Part of the balance in my life has to do with sticking with the vision that I feel God has really put before me. I had a call yesterday that had me in a tizzy all day questioning my vision. Finally, I realized that my balance is a little out of whack. My spokes are just a bit loose and by tightening them up I’m able to see clearly the path marked before me. I’m the type of person who will constantly need a reminder of the vision. It is really easy for me to get sidetracked an totally off point.

What about you? Do you need daily reminders about why you’re doing what you’re doing? Do you need to get a tune up so you’re back in balance? Maybe you just need a drink from the quenching spirit of God?!

Just remember: The grass over there might be greener, but it still has to be mowed. And the dog over there is meaner. And your water bill will double.

So You Wanna Be a Black Belt?

March 5, 2011 in Church, Church Planting, Meaningful Work with 0 Comments

Tonight during a sermon at Church, the preacher was talking about his journey from being a white belt in karate to a black belt. He explained that between white belt and black belt, there are numerous other belt colors that one must transcend through in order to obtain that illustrious black belt. For each belt there is a test that the student must pass in order to attain the next level. To attain the black belt, one must kick break a board that held above a dude’s head. This got me thinking about the church world, and more specifically my journey of exploring ministry.

Moment of candor and uncomfortable-ness: I’m just a white belt trying to break the highest board. Not that I haven’t served in ministry roles at all levels, but just doing some of the moves of a black belt doesn’t automatically qualify me to wear that belt. What I need is to work through the ranks, now I’m just trying to figure out where to start. I haven’t been in one place long enough and haven’t studied under one Sensei (or Rabbi, if you prefer) long enough to break that board. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m thinking on it.

Partially I have this thought that I have been chasing this entirely opposite dream for a couple of years. You know what attracts me to that other dream? You go through schooling and then you’re “on the job”. Of course there is on the job training, but really in under a year you’re doing the job. So really you’re starting out at a green belt, which is obviously better than white. In ministry it isn’t quite so easy, you see, it is not always a quick process. In fact, you’ll probably stay a white belt for awhile, unless you’ve got Bruce Lee skills. It is more about development of your person, character, and gifting. It is more important that you stay a white belt so you can learn even more about God’s work on Earth. Let me tell you a secret about me: I’m impatient. I’m a product of the microwave generation. I also don’t eat enough humble pie (RDA by the USDA is at least 2 servings a day).

I’m currently doing a Bible Boot Camp with some dudes from Church. We are reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. You know New Year’s Resolutions? Yeah, I made one this year to read the Bible a whole bunch. That happened for about 43 days. Now, I’m spending about an hour a day on exercising my body. I decided to honor God even further with my time and mind by giving Him an hour a day in reading/prayer/silence/listening. This Bible Boot Camp is just what I needed to supplement this time and really draw near to God during that time. Really looking forward to the rest of March!

How about you? Are you trying to break boards that are beyond your reach?

Toil Radio Episode #2 — Setting Goals

August 20, 2010 in Uncategorized with 0 Comments

[audio:http://www.tonywheeler.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Toil-Radio-Episode-2.mp3|titles=Toil Radio Episode 2]Toil Radio Episode #2 — Setting Goals

In this, the very second episode of Toil Radio, I talk a bit about what I learned from Three Time WCW World Television Champion Marc Mero.

Setting goals in life is important. Goals in your work life are even more important.

Take a few minutes to write down your work/life goals. Where do you want to go? What do you want to accomplish? Plaster those goals where you can see them!

Love to hear your goals. Chime in and share!

Page 2 of 43«12345»102030...Last »