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Clarity from Proximity

A word to those looking for God’s direction: It gets clearer as you get closer. Just keep moving forward, trusting and He will lead you! — @RLPastorJ

The above quote is from a recent tweet from my pastor, Justin Miller. As someone who has struggled and searched for God’s direction in my life, I can adamantly say that this is 100% true. The journey of discovery is frustrating. It feels lonely, like you’re the only one who has been wandering in the wilderness. All told, my journey has taken about 10 years. Looking back, I find myself wishing that I’d made different choices, followed advice of various folks in my life, or fought harder for various relationships. Then, I realize the tremendous life that I’m leading now. The absolutely fabulous family that I have, the job that provides for them, and the fantastic ministry that I’m involved in. I’m blown away.

So, what are the keys to this journey? My two cents, from someone who has spent considerable time sojourning:

  • Clarity comes from proximity. Seriously. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. Sounds like a pat Bible answer, but I can tell you from experience that it is absolutely true. Reflecting upon the times that I was not as near to God, wallowing in my own self pity, sin, and just plain old depression, it was in those times I was the most frustrated. I fought the hardest to find my place in this world and really just ended up more depressed, pitiful, and sinful. God is the answer. The only answer. Jesus is the way. The only way. Draw near and drink deep of the living water.
  • Those things that you seek comfort and refuge in are fake and probably are idols. I know the feeling…You come home at the end of a long day/week/month/year and are emotionally at the end of your rope. Those old standbys that keep you warm at night look pretty appealing. Now, they don’t have to be illicit or dangerous or even inherently sinful. Silly things like video games, hobbies, or Farmville. They will not fill the void. Jesus will.
  • Balanced life. In Craig Groeschel’s book Chazown, he talks about an idea that your life is a like a wheel. The five keys areas that makes up the spokes are relationship with God, relationships with people, finances, health and fitness, and work. Getting all of these areas into check really are key in getting on with whatever it is God is calling you to.

If you’re anything like me, God has been whispering in that still, small voice for years. Begging you to listen. Begging you to yield. All is takes is for you to move. You’ve gotta pick yourself up off the floor, shut off the noise, and listen. Start with repenting. You, like me, sinned by ignoring God. One of the most freeing experiences I had was admitting to myself and to God that I would listen, finally!

What are your thoughts? Where is God moving in your life? What should you be doing that you’re not? If you need a sounding board, I’m here with you. Love to talk!

Describing God’s Call

Describing God’s Call

Over the years, I’ve studied and searched for purpose, meaning, fulfillment, and over all — calling. I have in earnest struggled to really figure out that which God has specifically designed me to do. Over time, I’ve arrived at several different conclusions as to which direction I thought God was instructing me to go. I looked high and low to discover some mystical conclusion or revelation from God. Truth be told, the mystery remained in the place that it had been since God called me some 15 years ago…In my heart.

God Doesn't Use a Giant Phone to Call Us

Discerning God's Call Would Be a Lot Easier if He Just Phoned (HT FlickrCC)

In some of my recent reading, I came across a very interesting series of posts from a Pastor name Ron Edmondson, one entry of which was “4 Words to Help Discern a Vocational Call to Ministry”. Some very profound truths to are shared by Ron in this post and others like it. Ron uses four different words in describing God’s call to ministry:

  • Irresistible — This really means that one CANNOT be called by God, ignore that calling, and then continue to live at peace with God. Need evidence? Check out Jonah. Or, if you need something more tangible, take a look at my life. Seriously, I’ve fought and fought for YEARS! I’ve tried to do everything in my power in the past three years in particular to run away from God’s calling on my life, but have ultimately not been at peace with God until last summer. You see, I surrendered. I gave up. I waved the white flag. God specifically called us to the Orlando area to be of great impact in changing lives for Jesus. Really wasn’t clear what that meant when we moved here, but as God orchestrates our lives, the picture is taking shape.
  • Irreplaceable — Nothing else can take the place of that which God has called us. There is absolutely nothing else that will bring fulfillment or joy as much as what God has called us to do.
  • Irrevocable – It doesn’t go away. That isn’t to say the assignment will not change, but the calling remains. We can do whatever we want, but ultimately God will have his way. Remember Jonah?
  • Immediate – Yes, it means just that. Means that we don’t have to have our ducks in a row, the right degree, the right house, the stars to align just right, perfect family situation, or the perfect financial situation. We must answer because God’s call doesn’t wait. Obedience is valued above perfection.

I encourage you, if you’ve struggled with your own calling, to check out Pastor Ron’s posts on calling to vocational ministry. Seriously some of the best stuff I’ve read in years.

What about you? Where do you stand? Are you running away, like I did? Are you trying to fill God’s calling on your life with something else? Are you waiting for perfection? I’d love to share in your story.

Ten Things I Needed to Know Before College

I often think about the things I’m teaching my daughter about life. I think about the lessons that will stick with her for the long haul. I think about lessons that I didn’t get (or maybe just selective chose to miss). I’ve been pondering the top things that I wished that I knew before I went to college.
These are just some of the ideas that I’ve been thinking about, hoping that someone will stumble across them and find them useful.

1. Pay cash for college. Seriously, it sounds really crazy, especially with the rising cost of college tuition, but you don’t want to be like me and paying off your college tuition long after you’ve graduated.

2. Don’t fret over declaring a major. Basically, the first two years of any education are general in nature and it doesn’t really matter what you’re going to eventually study.

3. Value all relationships equally. There is a great temptation to place a great emphasis on a significant other during collegiate years. I’m guilty and chances are most people are. Chances are fairly good that whomever that is will not be your lifelong partner, so don’t treat them that way. Don’t forsake same-sex friendships for romantic flings.

4. Have a budget. There are plenty of opportunities to spend all kinds of cash that you have worked hard for. There is also ample opportunity to spend money that you don’t have provided by shiny little pieces of plastic. DO NOT DO IT! Cash is king, baby!

5. Seek out people who are where you think you want to be in life. If you want to be a marine biologist, get to know some. If you want to be a pastor, get to know some. If you want to be a garbage collector, get to know some. These folks can give you invaluable advice on choosing your direction in college and even outside of college. In all honesty, if I had college to do over again, I would have studied something totally different. I value a good, Biblical education, but I think that pretty much everyone can benefit from that. In addition, I have always felt prepared to do little outside of Ministry related careers. Having education in something more practical in the world would have opened some doors for me.

6. Study. You know those classes that you pay for and spend time in? Yeah, they give you homework that you’re supposed to do. DO IT! If you’re like me, you’re a fairly bright and capable student, but get bored fairly easily. Guess what? Life is boring sometimes. Do the stinking math problems!

7. Work. Remember when I said that you should pay cash for college and your fun time? Where do you think that cash is going to come from? My wife worked her way through college. Guess who’s student loans we are paying off? Not hers! Additionally, your job can teach you invaluable skills that you’ll use after college. Business administration, meeting deadlines, communication skills, marketing skills, and countless other valuable skills can be learned even in the most menial tasks.

8. Listen to your parents. Yeah, them. They love you and really do want what is best for you. Additionally, they are way smarter than you. This it the point in your relationship where you either become best friends for life or simply tolerate each other. God tells us to honor our parents…I’m voting on the former!

9. Drive a beater. So you’re going to a very expensive private Christian University and all the cool kids have sweet rides. Guess what? Either they will be paying for them for a long time or their parents already did. Drive what you can buy with cash. No financing, no lease…Cash!

10. Have fun. Yes, these are some of the best years of your life. You’ll make friends that will last for life. You’ll have significant relationships that will deeply impact how you interact with your future spouse. You’ll develop habits that will last into your adult years….Just have some fun!

What about you? What would you add to this list?

The Pain of Staying the Same

The Pain of Staying the Same

“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I’ve heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I’ve battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I’ve faced a lot of different choices/issues. I’ve tried various things that didn’t work out or didn’t work out as I had planned. I’ve wavered between doing many different things with myself. I’ve blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I’m at a place where from the outside, people who don’t really understand my heart/calling would say I’m on a really solid career path with a bright future. I’m glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I’m doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I’ve got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we’re living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

The Pain of Staying the Same

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I’m leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I’m basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I’ve been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I’ve tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I’ll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

So You Wanna Be a Black Belt?

Tonight during a sermon at Church, the preacher was talking about his journey from being a white belt in karate to a black belt. He explained that between white belt and black belt, there are numerous other belt colors that one must transcend through in order to obtain that illustrious black belt. For each belt there is a test that the student must pass in order to attain the next level. To attain the black belt, one must kick break a board that held above a dude’s head. This got me thinking about the church world, and more specifically my journey of exploring ministry.

Moment of candor and uncomfortable-ness: I’m just a white belt trying to break the highest board. Not that I haven’t served in ministry roles at all levels, but just doing some of the moves of a black belt doesn’t automatically qualify me to wear that belt. What I need is to work through the ranks, now I’m just trying to figure out where to start. I haven’t been in one place long enough and haven’t studied under one Sensei (or Rabbi, if you prefer) long enough to break that board. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m thinking on it.

Partially I have this thought that I have been chasing this entirely opposite dream for a couple of years. You know what attracts me to that other dream? You go through schooling and then you’re “on the job”. Of course there is on the job training, but really in under a year you’re doing the job. So really you’re starting out at a green belt, which is obviously better than white. In ministry it isn’t quite so easy, you see, it is not always a quick process. In fact, you’ll probably stay a white belt for awhile, unless you’ve got Bruce Lee skills. It is more about development of your person, character, and gifting. It is more important that you stay a white belt so you can learn even more about God’s work on Earth. Let me tell you a secret about me: I’m impatient. I’m a product of the microwave generation. I also don’t eat enough humble pie (RDA by the USDA is at least 2 servings a day).

I’m currently doing a Bible Boot Camp with some dudes from Church. We are reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. You know New Year’s Resolutions? Yeah, I made one this year to read the Bible a whole bunch. That happened for about 43 days. Now, I’m spending about an hour a day on exercising my body. I decided to honor God even further with my time and mind by giving Him an hour a day in reading/prayer/silence/listening. This Bible Boot Camp is just what I needed to supplement this time and really draw near to God during that time. Really looking forward to the rest of March!

How about you? Are you trying to break boards that are beyond your reach?

Birds of a Feather

Birds of a Feather Flock Together, so Choose Who You Fly With and How High You Get

Yesterday morning, three time WCW Television Champion Marc Mero spoke to our church community at Real Life Clermont. Man, I’ll tell you what, dude can preach as well as put you in a figure four leg lock! His story is one of dreams, goals, success, heartache, failure, and then redemption and renewal! Such a powerful testimony and picture of the Kingdom of Heaven.

One of the things that really struck me during our time together was the idea of who you hang out with, you become. You probably have heard time and again, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So incredibly true. Marc told of his transition from being a boxing champion to beer guzzler and pothead. The people he was hanging with influenced him greatly in spite of his good intentions, goals, and vision. I had a CD back in the day (well, not that long ago) called Music 2 Ride 2. One of the jams on there had a line, “Birds of a feather flock together, so choose who you fly with and how high you get.” Pretty accurate!

You want to be a better disciple? Hang with those who are headed that direction. You want to be a better businessperson? Hang with people who are where you want to be. You want to be a better father? Hang with fathers who are getting it done, and then hang with your kids! You can’t get better at fathering by not doing it!

Personally, I’m surrounding myself with people who are where I want to be. They are pastors, authors, speakers, coaches, radio guys. It is pretty awesome. So encouraging to know that it can be done. So encouraging to have folks to stand with me as I move forward in this crazy journey!

What steps are you taking to become who you were created to be? Maybe you’re already well on your way…I’d love to hear your story!

Toil Radio: Creating Meaningful Work Episode #1

I’ve begun the latest leg in my journey: Podcasting a radio show!

While in it’s infancy, I aim to bring in questions/answers, guest speakers, and overall simply create a community that learns to create meaningful work.

Have a listen, let me know what you think!

[audio:http://www.tonywheeler.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/Toil-Radio-Episode-1.mp3|titles=Toil Radio Episode 1]

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