"We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change." — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I've heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I've battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I've faced a lot of different choices/issues. I've tried various things that didn't work out or didn't work out as I had planned. I've wavered between doing many different things with myself. I've blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I'm at a place where from the outside, people who don't really understand my heart/calling would say I'm on a really solid career path with a bright future. I'm glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I'm doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I've got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we're living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I'm leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I'm basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I've been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I've tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I'll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

The problem: There is an elephant in the pew and chances are it is you!

If you’ve been around any group of “church people” for any amount of time, you’ve probably noticed something. We like food, in fact we LOVE IT! We fully embrace that God called all food clean and live our lives in such a way to experience all aspects of His food! The churches that I grew up in and around had dinners, potlucks, picnics, gatherings, Life Groups, and even a small wafer and juice during the service! My wife’s home church has published cookbooks and certainly spent a lot of time dining with one another.

Our excuse: Fellowship. We see that Jesus dined with his disciples and followers to grow in relationship with them. I think that is important, but we just seem to have an affair with food. These potlucks are not filled with lettuce salads and grilled chicken breasts. They are filled with casseroles that contain three types of cream of something soup, noodles, and ground beef, along with a whole host of delicious but anti-nutritious foods.

Look around you the next time you’re in a church service. Chances are that many of the folks sitting near you will be overweight. I know these folks have hurts surrounding their weight. They are ashamed of how the look and feel, they go to great lengths to cover themselves up, and they also pretend it does not matter.  They’ve spent a lot of their lives dealing with this stuff and it really stinks! I’ve been there, done that, got the fat jeans. I’m not going back!

Leading from the Front

Many of us are called to serving in churches around the globe and God has given us great influence over His people. We are responsible for helping others live fully devoted, Christ centered lives. I’ve become convinced that there are a lot of areas that we really let these folks down. We don’t always teach them how to use God’s resources wisely by incurring debt as a church. We don’t always show them how to live out the Great Commission because we are too busy “working in the church”.  We also don’t lead well with our health and fitness. Make no mistake, church planters in particular, lead stress -filled lives. Stress induces a cortisol response in our bodies, which leads to those monster truck tires around our middle sections. Stress, at least for me, really makes me eat poorly, sleep poorly, and just funks me out!

One of the things that I’ve been encouraged by is Saddleback’s Daniel Plan, completely focused on getting an entire church healthy through eating right and moving. Simple? Yep! Do-able? Yep. If a church of 30,000 can do it, how much more effectively can a church of 50 do it?

Men and women leaders: How are you modeling health and wellness to those you lead? Make no mistake, people notice what you do. People notice how you lead your daily life. Take the steps that you need to do in order to get your bodily temple in order.

I’d love to walk with your through that…I’m no where near perfect, but I’m working my tail off(literally) to transform my body. Reach out and I’ll be glad to chat! Alternatively, head over to my fitness site at GetFitDaily.net!

Moment of candor and uncomfortable-ness: I’m just a white belt trying to break the highest board. Not that I haven’t served in ministry roles at all levels, but just doing some of the moves of a black belt doesn’t automatically qualify me to wear that belt. What I need is to work through the ranks, now I’m just trying to figure out where to start. I haven’t been in one place long enough and haven’t studied under one Sensei (or Rabbi, if you prefer) long enough to break that board. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m thinking on it.

Partially I have this thought that I have been chasing this entirely opposite dream for a couple of years. You know what attracts me to that other dream? You go through schooling and then you’re “on the job”. Of course there is on the job training, but really in under a year you’re doing the job. So really you’re starting out at a green belt, which is obviously better than white. In ministry it isn’t quite so easy, you see, it is not always a quick process. In fact, you’ll probably stay a white belt for awhile, unless you’ve got Bruce Lee skills. It is more about development of your person, character, and gifting. It is more important that you stay a white belt so you can learn even more about God’s work on Earth. Let me tell you a secret about me: I’m impatient. I’m a product of the microwave generation. I also don’t eat enough humble pie (RDA by the USDA is at least 2 servings a day).

I’m currently doing a Bible Boot Camp with some dudes from Church. We are reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. You know New Year’s Resolutions? Yeah, I made one this year to read the Bible a whole bunch. That happened for about 43 days. Now, I’m spending about an hour a day on exercising my body. I decided to honor God even further with my time and mind by giving Him an hour a day in reading/prayer/silence/listening. This Bible Boot Camp is just what I needed to supplement this time and really draw near to God during that time. Really looking forward to the rest of March!

How about you? Are you trying to break boards that are beyond your reach?

One of the things that really struck me during our time together was the idea of who you hang out with, you become. You probably have heard time and again, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So incredibly true. Marc told of his transition from being a boxing champion to beer guzzler and pothead. The people he was hanging with influenced him greatly in spite of his good intentions, goals, and vision. I had a CD back in the day (well, not that long ago) called Music 2 Ride 2. One of the jams on there had a line, “Birds of a feather flock together, so choose who you fly with and how high you get.” Pretty accurate!

You want to be a better disciple? Hang with those who are headed that direction. You want to be a better businessperson? Hang with people who are where you want to be. You want to be a better father? Hang with fathers who are getting it done, and then hang with your kids! You can’t get better at fathering by not doing it!

Personally, I’m surrounding myself with people who are where I want to be. They are pastors, authors, speakers, coaches, radio guys. It is pretty awesome. So encouraging to know that it can be done. So encouraging to have folks to stand with me as I move forward in this crazy journey!

What steps are you taking to become who you were created to be? Maybe you’re already well on your way…I’d love to hear your story!

We are drawn to epic stories, filled with adventure, intrigue, and danger, but then on Monday morning we head back to the cube farm to live out our Dilbert fantasy.

Yesterday, as my wife and I were discussing life, love, and other mysteries, she kept going back to one point. She has a difficult time understanding if it is a man thing to have at least a portion of your identity tied to what you do to earn your living. When she worked outside the home, she said she was content to go to her job, earn her paycheck, then go home and do things that she wanted to do. My issue with that is that I can’t get back those 8 hours I just spent doing something that I don’t love.  As long as she has known me, and frankly for as long as I’ve known myself, I’ve struggled with this very issue. Currently, I’m a card carrying member of the Organic Cube Farming Association of America. Personality wise, I’m probably somewhere between a Jim Halpert and David Brent from The Office UK. But, I am not what I do for money. Far from it. Am I good at what I do? I’d say I’m good, but there is always room for improvement.

I’m not sure it is an identity issue. I’m a lot of things, but Organic Cube Farmer is far from what I’d identify myself as. For me, it is a values issue. I value my time, energy, and talents so much more than to simply give them away for a few silver coins. I want to do something with my time that adds value to the world, something that helps others in their 0wn journey.

What about you? What is holding you back from living the epic adventure that you dream of? Are you content, like my wife, to simply get money for your time so then later you can do whatever you want? I’d love to hear your thoughts..chime in!

Until next time…

So what? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about business, ministry, and just life in general. I’ve been listening to a ton of podcasts (you remember those, right?), reading a ton of interesting material, and trying to map out plans for the future. So why am I thinking about lemonade stands?

I think the same principles that apply to growing a lemonade stand apply to pretty much every facet of business and ministry. You see, everyone starts somewhere. In both business and ministry, usually you start with nothing and grow into something. You use what you have to get your ministry or business positioned to grow and thrive. In business that usually means starting small used equipment and working alone, then expanding when resources become available. In ministry, particularly church planting, you start with two people (the pastor and his wife, plus any kids), and expand as God allows.

If everyone starts somewhere, in business or ministry, what are you doing TODAY that will get you to where you dream of being? What fires are you feeding in your soul that will grow your business, your ministry, or simply yourself?

Why am I thinking about this whole concept? When we started this whole journey to Florida, I was enamored with the idea of organic ministry. The problem is that I think my idea of organic differs a bit from the widely used term. I think I view organic life as complete, as something where every aspect of life is so infused with the Gospel that they cannot be seen apart from each other. Organic life to me is something like Walt Disney envisioned for EPCOT, a community where you live, work, play, worship; where it all comes together, for better or worse.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been diving headlong into dreaming and praying. The nausea is still there, but the dreams and vision overcome that feeling. The city has been on my mind a ton. This place is dark, full of hurt, deceit, greed…and desperation. Overwhelmingly, people live an work with a ton of baggage and are like empty shells with no hope. Moreover, the gloom of economy has left properties that lay vacant, houses that are deteriorating, and local governments on the verge of collapse. WHEW! No wonder people are down! Of course, it isn’t all doom and gloom. Many sectors are on the rise, such as medicine and various research sectors.

So….City Renewal/Transformation. A lot of work to be done, but a great task! One person at a time….Starting with me!

You may or may not know the story of Jonah. Basically, his life story as we know it takes up four chapters of the Old Testament. We read of Jonah’s journey from being a called prophet of God, to being a pleasure cruiser to a land far-far-away, his journey into the belly of a big fish, and finally his moment of fulfilling his calling from God. God called Jonah to this town called Ninevah…Jonah tried everything in his power to get the heck out of dodge.

Personally, the story of Jonah is one that I have basically lived through. Not sure what my ‘big fish’ is, but I’ve literally tried everything in my power to get out of this place that God called me to for about two years. If you’ve ever gotten yourself into a fight with God, you know what happens. YOU LOSE! In retrospect, it was pretty foolish to even think that I could win this one. I never claimed to be wise, only that I want to be used.

This whole picture didn’t really become too clear for me until this past weekend. As I was sitting in a worship gathering at Real Life, the pastor made an announcement that the church would be replanting yet another church into a campus of Real Life. I literally wanted to vomit. Justin mentioned that they are looking for a guy to go and be the planter/campus pastor. Again, nausea welled up in me.  You see, this group of people are meeting in the area and dreaming about the area that I have envisioned impacting…It is sort of like the Las Vegas Strip/Hollywood BLVD without all the glitz and glamor. The area is one of the most densely populated area in town, with a great deal of people that ‘church’ normally would not reach out to…homeless, prostitutes, drug dealers, and every-day-average-joes. That is why I wanted to vomit. I’m praying that we would be used there. We are in a place currently that we can commit to something huge and we’re ready to rumble! Really looking forward to what the future holds…because I know who holds the future.

I’ve been thinking about how I will answer the next time someone asks me what I do. Not sure yet, but I’m sure that it will be something good!

Where did the idea of putting people in little boxes come from? I’m not sure, but I do know that the entire story of human history is woven with stories of people identified by what they did for money. This past week I have been reading Chronicles and was confronted by all the lists of people who were ientified by their role. Everyone had a job to do and had their name and role recorded in the annals of time. Were they something else outside of that role? Sure. But to some extent their “job” defined their place in history.

I think that is the part that I struggle with. I want my place in history to count. Not that I want to be recorded for generations to come to read about, I just want my life to matter.

Your thoughts?

While I do not wish that any of these things were different, I cannot help but try to read the real motivation behind them. I’ve come to the conclusion that it boils down to identity. Many of the careers that I have pursued have distinct identity associated with them. Police Officer, Pastor, Motorcycle mechanic, zoologist, doctor…all of them hold a distinct identity. So what does that say about me? It says I’m normal. It says that for the most part I’m not sure who I really am. A lot of the deep introspection that I’ve been doing lately has revealed that I’m just a dude who loves God, loves my family (and therefore want to care for them well), and loves people. I’m pretty sure I have said it many times before, but basically that is who I am and at the end of the day that is who I want to be known and remembered for. Sure, there are a lot of things that I want to accomplish in this life. Lots of dreams in my heart and mind, but those are really secondary until they become primary in their own time.

What about you? Do you struggle with identity? Are you okay with who you are, or are you like me and waste substantial time and energy trying to be someone else? How can we encourage each other in this journey?

I’m just a fellow sojourner…praying for your journey!