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The Pain of Staying the Same

September 3, 2011 in Answering God's Call, Church, Church Planting, Meaningful Work, Work with 1 Comment

The Pain of Staying the Same

"We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change." — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I've heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I've battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I've faced a lot of different choices/issues. I've tried various things that didn't work out or didn't work out as I had planned. I've wavered between doing many different things with myself. I've blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I'm at a place where from the outside, people who don't really understand my heart/calling would say I'm on a really solid career path with a bright future. I'm glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I'm doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I've got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we're living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

The Pain of Staying the Same

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I'm leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I'm basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I've been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I've tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I'll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

The Elephant in the Pew

June 30, 2011 in Church, Church Planting, Passion, Work with 2 Comments

These Elephants are Just Plain Pretty!

People that know me understand there are not a lot of things that get me fired up as much as God’s Church. I’ve devoted much of the past 16 years to serving in, dreaming about, preparing for service in, and helping others find their fit in Church. I absolutely think that one of God’s greatest tools is the Church globally and He is and will continue to use the Church to change the world. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that has the potential to impact and effect the world for good and Godly purposes than the Church. We cannot accomplish God’s mission for our lives apart from the Church.

The problem: There is an elephant in the pew and chances are it is you!

If you’ve been around any group of “church people” for any amount of time, you’ve probably noticed something. We like food, in fact we LOVE IT! We fully embrace that God called all food clean and live our lives in such a way to experience all aspects of His food! The churches that I grew up in and around had dinners, potlucks, picnics, gatherings, Life Groups, and even a small wafer and juice during the service! My wife’s home church has published cookbooks and certainly spent a lot of time dining with one another.

Our excuse: Fellowship. We see that Jesus dined with his disciples and followers to grow in relationship with them. I think that is important, but we just seem to have an affair with food. These potlucks are not filled with lettuce salads and grilled chicken breasts. They are filled with casseroles that contain three types of cream of something soup, noodles, and ground beef, along with a whole host of delicious but anti-nutritious foods.

Look around you the next time you’re in a church service. Chances are that many of the folks sitting near you will be overweight. I know these folks have hurts surrounding their weight. They are ashamed of how the look and feel, they go to great lengths to cover themselves up, and they also pretend it does not matter.  They’ve spent a lot of their lives dealing with this stuff and it really stinks! I’ve been there, done that, got the fat jeans. I’m not going back!

Leading from the Front

Many of us are called to serving in churches around the globe and God has given us great influence over His people. We are responsible for helping others live fully devoted, Christ centered lives. I’ve become convinced that there are a lot of areas that we really let these folks down. We don’t always teach them how to use God’s resources wisely by incurring debt as a church. We don’t always show them how to live out the Great Commission because we are too busy “working in the church”.  We also don’t lead well with our health and fitness. Make no mistake, church planters in particular, lead stress -filled lives. Stress induces a cortisol response in our bodies, which leads to those monster truck tires around our middle sections. Stress, at least for me, really makes me eat poorly, sleep poorly, and just funks me out!

One of the things that I’ve been encouraged by is Saddleback’s Daniel Plan, completely focused on getting an entire church healthy through eating right and moving. Simple? Yep! Do-able? Yep. If a church of 30,000 can do it, how much more effectively can a church of 50 do it?

Men and women leaders: How are you modeling health and wellness to those you lead? Make no mistake, people notice what you do. People notice how you lead your daily life. Take the steps that you need to do in order to get your bodily temple in order.

I’d love to walk with your through that…I’m no where near perfect, but I’m working my tail off(literally) to transform my body. Reach out and I’ll be glad to chat! Alternatively, head over to my fitness site at GetFitDaily.net!

So You Wanna Be a Black Belt?

March 5, 2011 in Church, Church Planting, Meaningful Work with 0 Comments

Tonight during a sermon at Church, the preacher was talking about his journey from being a white belt in karate to a black belt. He explained that between white belt and black belt, there are numerous other belt colors that one must transcend through in order to obtain that illustrious black belt. For each belt there is a test that the student must pass in order to attain the next level. To attain the black belt, one must kick break a board that held above a dude’s head. This got me thinking about the church world, and more specifically my journey of exploring ministry.

Moment of candor and uncomfortable-ness: I’m just a white belt trying to break the highest board. Not that I haven’t served in ministry roles at all levels, but just doing some of the moves of a black belt doesn’t automatically qualify me to wear that belt. What I need is to work through the ranks, now I’m just trying to figure out where to start. I haven’t been in one place long enough and haven’t studied under one Sensei (or Rabbi, if you prefer) long enough to break that board. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m thinking on it.

Partially I have this thought that I have been chasing this entirely opposite dream for a couple of years. You know what attracts me to that other dream? You go through schooling and then you’re “on the job”. Of course there is on the job training, but really in under a year you’re doing the job. So really you’re starting out at a green belt, which is obviously better than white. In ministry it isn’t quite so easy, you see, it is not always a quick process. In fact, you’ll probably stay a white belt for awhile, unless you’ve got Bruce Lee skills. It is more about development of your person, character, and gifting. It is more important that you stay a white belt so you can learn even more about God’s work on Earth. Let me tell you a secret about me: I’m impatient. I’m a product of the microwave generation. I also don’t eat enough humble pie (RDA by the USDA is at least 2 servings a day).

I’m currently doing a Bible Boot Camp with some dudes from Church. We are reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. You know New Year’s Resolutions? Yeah, I made one this year to read the Bible a whole bunch. That happened for about 43 days. Now, I’m spending about an hour a day on exercising my body. I decided to honor God even further with my time and mind by giving Him an hour a day in reading/prayer/silence/listening. This Bible Boot Camp is just what I needed to supplement this time and really draw near to God during that time. Really looking forward to the rest of March!

How about you? Are you trying to break boards that are beyond your reach?

Birds of a Feather

August 16, 2010 in Church, Meaningful Work, Passion with 2 Comments

Birds of a Feather Flock Together, so Choose Who You Fly With and How High You Get

Yesterday morning, three time WCW Television Champion Marc Mero spoke to our church community at Real Life Clermont. Man, I’ll tell you what, dude can preach as well as put you in a figure four leg lock! His story is one of dreams, goals, success, heartache, failure, and then redemption and renewal! Such a powerful testimony and picture of the Kingdom of Heaven.

One of the things that really struck me during our time together was the idea of who you hang out with, you become. You probably have heard time and again, “Birds of a feather flock together.” So incredibly true. Marc told of his transition from being a boxing champion to beer guzzler and pothead. The people he was hanging with influenced him greatly in spite of his good intentions, goals, and vision. I had a CD back in the day (well, not that long ago) called Music 2 Ride 2. One of the jams on there had a line, “Birds of a feather flock together, so choose who you fly with and how high you get.” Pretty accurate!

You want to be a better disciple? Hang with those who are headed that direction. You want to be a better businessperson? Hang with people who are where you want to be. You want to be a better father? Hang with fathers who are getting it done, and then hang with your kids! You can’t get better at fathering by not doing it!

Personally, I’m surrounding myself with people who are where I want to be. They are pastors, authors, speakers, coaches, radio guys. It is pretty awesome. So encouraging to know that it can be done. So encouraging to have folks to stand with me as I move forward in this crazy journey!

What steps are you taking to become who you were created to be? Maybe you’re already well on your way…I’d love to hear your story!

Organic Cube Farming With Dwight Schrute

August 7, 2010 in Church, Passion with 5 Comments

dwight bobblehead

[audio:http://www.tonywheeler.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/08/OrganicCubeFarming0807.mp3|titles=Organic Cube Farming with Dwight Schrute]I’ve been consuming SO MUCH stuff lately regarding entrepreneurship, career, and all that surrounds those areas. It is kind of funny because a few years ago I was diving into this whole arena, but from a different angle with some different business opportunities (which I still pay for every month…Dave Ramsey calls this ‘Stupid Tax’), and I really had no idea what I was doing. One of the guys that I have been learning a ton from is Kevin Miller, who runs a community called Free Agent Underground. In one of his latest blog posts/podcasts he talks about the dichotomy that exists between the painful laughter caused by shows like The Office and comics like Dilbert and the valiance of the epic stories that portray the ‘above the law’ guy and ‘heroes’.

We are drawn to epic stories, filled with adventure, intrigue, and danger, but then on Monday morning we head back to the cube farm to live out our Dilbert fantasy.

Yesterday, as my wife and I were discussing life, love, and other mysteries, she kept going back to one point. She has a difficult time understanding if it is a man thing to have at least a portion of your identity tied to what you do to earn your living. When she worked outside the home, she said she was content to go to her job, earn her paycheck, then go home and do things that she wanted to do. My issue with that is that I can’t get back those 8 hours I just spent doing something that I don’t love.  As long as she has known me, and frankly for as long as I’ve known myself, I’ve struggled with this very issue. Currently, I’m a card carrying member of the Organic Cube Farming Association of America. Personality wise, I’m probably somewhere between a Jim Halpert and David Brent from The Office UK. But, I am not what I do for money. Far from it. Am I good at what I do? I’d say I’m good, but there is always room for improvement.

I’m not sure it is an identity issue. I’m a lot of things, but Organic Cube Farmer is far from what I’d identify myself as. For me, it is a values issue. I value my time, energy, and talents so much more than to simply give them away for a few silver coins. I want to do something with my time that adds value to the world, something that helps others in their 0wn journey.

What about you? What is holding you back from living the epic adventure that you dream of? Are you content, like my wife, to simply get money for your time so then later you can do whatever you want? I’d love to hear your thoughts..chime in!

Until next time…

Lemonade Stand Philosophy

August 4, 2010 in Church, Church Planting with 0 Comments

Did you have a lemonade/kool-aid stand as a kid? One of the most addicting games that I have played on my iPhone is Lemonde Stand Tycoon. You start out with a card table, a pitcher, some lemons, sugar, cups, and ice. As you use your business savvy, you upgrade your stand, your equipment, and your location. I eventually got to a point where I had so much money built up that I could not spend it all.

So what? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about business, ministry, and just life in general. I’ve been listening to a ton of podcasts (you remember those, right?), reading a ton of interesting material, and trying to map out plans for the future. So why am I thinking about lemonade stands?

I think the same principles that apply to growing a lemonade stand apply to pretty much every facet of business and ministry. You see, everyone starts somewhere. In both business and ministry, usually you start with nothing and grow into something. You use what you have to get your ministry or business positioned to grow and thrive. In business that usually means starting small used equipment and working alone, then expanding when resources become available. In ministry, particularly church planting, you start with two people (the pastor and his wife, plus any kids), and expand as God allows.

If everyone starts somewhere, in business or ministry, what are you doing TODAY that will get you to where you dream of being? What fires are you feeding in your soul that will grow your business, your ministry, or simply yourself?

ReNew Central Florida

June 24, 2010 in Church, Church Planting with 1 Comment

Late one night last week I began pondering the idea of City Renewal. What would that look like? What does that even mean?

Why am I thinking about this whole concept? When we started this whole journey to Florida, I was enamored with the idea of organic ministry. The problem is that I think my idea of organic differs a bit from the widely used term. I think I view organic life as complete, as something where every aspect of life is so infused with the Gospel that they cannot be seen apart from each other. Organic life to me is something like Walt Disney envisioned for EPCOT, a community where you live, work, play, worship; where it all comes together, for better or worse.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been diving headlong into dreaming and praying. The nausea is still there, but the dreams and vision overcome that feeling. The city has been on my mind a ton. This place is dark, full of hurt, deceit, greed…and desperation. Overwhelmingly, people live an work with a ton of baggage and are like empty shells with no hope. Moreover, the gloom of economy has left properties that lay vacant, houses that are deteriorating, and local governments on the verge of collapse. WHEW! No wonder people are down! Of course, it isn’t all doom and gloom. Many sectors are on the rise, such as medicine and various research sectors.

So….City Renewal/Transformation. A lot of work to be done, but a great task! One person at a time….Starting with me!

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