"We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change." — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I've heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I've battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I've faced a lot of different choices/issues. I've tried various things that didn't work out or didn't work out as I had planned. I've wavered between doing many different things with myself. I've blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I'm at a place where from the outside, people who don't really understand my heart/calling would say I'm on a really solid career path with a bright future. I'm glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I'm doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I've got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we're living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I'm leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I'm basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I've been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I've tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I'll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

The problem: There is an elephant in the pew and chances are it is you!

If you’ve been around any group of “church people” for any amount of time, you’ve probably noticed something. We like food, in fact we LOVE IT! We fully embrace that God called all food clean and live our lives in such a way to experience all aspects of His food! The churches that I grew up in and around had dinners, potlucks, picnics, gatherings, Life Groups, and even a small wafer and juice during the service! My wife’s home church has published cookbooks and certainly spent a lot of time dining with one another.

Our excuse: Fellowship. We see that Jesus dined with his disciples and followers to grow in relationship with them. I think that is important, but we just seem to have an affair with food. These potlucks are not filled with lettuce salads and grilled chicken breasts. They are filled with casseroles that contain three types of cream of something soup, noodles, and ground beef, along with a whole host of delicious but anti-nutritious foods.

Look around you the next time you’re in a church service. Chances are that many of the folks sitting near you will be overweight. I know these folks have hurts surrounding their weight. They are ashamed of how the look and feel, they go to great lengths to cover themselves up, and they also pretend it does not matter.  They’ve spent a lot of their lives dealing with this stuff and it really stinks! I’ve been there, done that, got the fat jeans. I’m not going back!

Leading from the Front

Many of us are called to serving in churches around the globe and God has given us great influence over His people. We are responsible for helping others live fully devoted, Christ centered lives. I’ve become convinced that there are a lot of areas that we really let these folks down. We don’t always teach them how to use God’s resources wisely by incurring debt as a church. We don’t always show them how to live out the Great Commission because we are too busy “working in the church”.  We also don’t lead well with our health and fitness. Make no mistake, church planters in particular, lead stress -filled lives. Stress induces a cortisol response in our bodies, which leads to those monster truck tires around our middle sections. Stress, at least for me, really makes me eat poorly, sleep poorly, and just funks me out!

One of the things that I’ve been encouraged by is Saddleback’s Daniel Plan, completely focused on getting an entire church healthy through eating right and moving. Simple? Yep! Do-able? Yep. If a church of 30,000 can do it, how much more effectively can a church of 50 do it?

Men and women leaders: How are you modeling health and wellness to those you lead? Make no mistake, people notice what you do. People notice how you lead your daily life. Take the steps that you need to do in order to get your bodily temple in order.

I’d love to walk with your through that…I’m no where near perfect, but I’m working my tail off(literally) to transform my body. Reach out and I’ll be glad to chat! Alternatively, head over to my fitness site at GetFitDaily.net!

Moment of candor and uncomfortable-ness: I’m just a white belt trying to break the highest board. Not that I haven’t served in ministry roles at all levels, but just doing some of the moves of a black belt doesn’t automatically qualify me to wear that belt. What I need is to work through the ranks, now I’m just trying to figure out where to start. I haven’t been in one place long enough and haven’t studied under one Sensei (or Rabbi, if you prefer) long enough to break that board. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m thinking on it.

Partially I have this thought that I have been chasing this entirely opposite dream for a couple of years. You know what attracts me to that other dream? You go through schooling and then you’re “on the job”. Of course there is on the job training, but really in under a year you’re doing the job. So really you’re starting out at a green belt, which is obviously better than white. In ministry it isn’t quite so easy, you see, it is not always a quick process. In fact, you’ll probably stay a white belt for awhile, unless you’ve got Bruce Lee skills. It is more about development of your person, character, and gifting. It is more important that you stay a white belt so you can learn even more about God’s work on Earth. Let me tell you a secret about me: I’m impatient. I’m a product of the microwave generation. I also don’t eat enough humble pie (RDA by the USDA is at least 2 servings a day).

I’m currently doing a Bible Boot Camp with some dudes from Church. We are reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. You know New Year’s Resolutions? Yeah, I made one this year to read the Bible a whole bunch. That happened for about 43 days. Now, I’m spending about an hour a day on exercising my body. I decided to honor God even further with my time and mind by giving Him an hour a day in reading/prayer/silence/listening. This Bible Boot Camp is just what I needed to supplement this time and really draw near to God during that time. Really looking forward to the rest of March!

How about you? Are you trying to break boards that are beyond your reach?

So what? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about business, ministry, and just life in general. I’ve been listening to a ton of podcasts (you remember those, right?), reading a ton of interesting material, and trying to map out plans for the future. So why am I thinking about lemonade stands?

I think the same principles that apply to growing a lemonade stand apply to pretty much every facet of business and ministry. You see, everyone starts somewhere. In both business and ministry, usually you start with nothing and grow into something. You use what you have to get your ministry or business positioned to grow and thrive. In business that usually means starting small used equipment and working alone, then expanding when resources become available. In ministry, particularly church planting, you start with two people (the pastor and his wife, plus any kids), and expand as God allows.

If everyone starts somewhere, in business or ministry, what are you doing TODAY that will get you to where you dream of being? What fires are you feeding in your soul that will grow your business, your ministry, or simply yourself?

Why am I thinking about this whole concept? When we started this whole journey to Florida, I was enamored with the idea of organic ministry. The problem is that I think my idea of organic differs a bit from the widely used term. I think I view organic life as complete, as something where every aspect of life is so infused with the Gospel that they cannot be seen apart from each other. Organic life to me is something like Walt Disney envisioned for EPCOT, a community where you live, work, play, worship; where it all comes together, for better or worse.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been diving headlong into dreaming and praying. The nausea is still there, but the dreams and vision overcome that feeling. The city has been on my mind a ton. This place is dark, full of hurt, deceit, greed…and desperation. Overwhelmingly, people live an work with a ton of baggage and are like empty shells with no hope. Moreover, the gloom of economy has left properties that lay vacant, houses that are deteriorating, and local governments on the verge of collapse. WHEW! No wonder people are down! Of course, it isn’t all doom and gloom. Many sectors are on the rise, such as medicine and various research sectors.

So….City Renewal/Transformation. A lot of work to be done, but a great task! One person at a time….Starting with me!

You may or may not know the story of Jonah. Basically, his life story as we know it takes up four chapters of the Old Testament. We read of Jonah’s journey from being a called prophet of God, to being a pleasure cruiser to a land far-far-away, his journey into the belly of a big fish, and finally his moment of fulfilling his calling from God. God called Jonah to this town called Ninevah…Jonah tried everything in his power to get the heck out of dodge.

Personally, the story of Jonah is one that I have basically lived through. Not sure what my ‘big fish’ is, but I’ve literally tried everything in my power to get out of this place that God called me to for about two years. If you’ve ever gotten yourself into a fight with God, you know what happens. YOU LOSE! In retrospect, it was pretty foolish to even think that I could win this one. I never claimed to be wise, only that I want to be used.

This whole picture didn’t really become too clear for me until this past weekend. As I was sitting in a worship gathering at Real Life, the pastor made an announcement that the church would be replanting yet another church into a campus of Real Life. I literally wanted to vomit. Justin mentioned that they are looking for a guy to go and be the planter/campus pastor. Again, nausea welled up in me.  You see, this group of people are meeting in the area and dreaming about the area that I have envisioned impacting…It is sort of like the Las Vegas Strip/Hollywood BLVD without all the glitz and glamor. The area is one of the most densely populated area in town, with a great deal of people that ‘church’ normally would not reach out to…homeless, prostitutes, drug dealers, and every-day-average-joes. That is why I wanted to vomit. I’m praying that we would be used there. We are in a place currently that we can commit to something huge and we’re ready to rumble! Really looking forward to what the future holds…because I know who holds the future.

• Many motorcycle clubs are highly entrepreneurial.  That resonates with me. They find ways to make money, invest for the future, and also take care of not only their own people, but people in their communities.  Their endeavors are not limited to bars and strip clubs, but law firms, doctor’s offices, and countless other LEGAL operations. Bikers are huge supporters of Toys for Tots and also have tons of charity events throughout the year.  A great missional community aspect if you ask me.  We could learn a great deal from this by not just opening a coffee house or bookstore in a Business as Mission environment. Where else can we branch out? What other lines of business can be mutually beneficial?
• They are fiercely loyal to family and friends. If you’ve got an issue, they have your back. No questions asked. In Church, if you’ve got an issue you’re probably scared to bring it up because of how you’ll be judged.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen a lot of Churches that handle issues very well, but many don’t. Not just big issues, but just general life stuff.  You need a place to live? Crash on my couch. You need some food? Here is $50 bucks. You need a ride? I’ve got this old Ironside you can use until we can fix yours. Your old lady left you? Let me buy you a beer and we can talk about it.
• They are not concerned with the status quo. I dare venture to guess that you’d never hear the President of a motorcycle club talk about how he is worried that the club down the street doesn’t like them or the club secretary report about all the calls they’ve gotten about the latest mailing they sent out.  They simply do what they do because it is what they do. How often is the Church concerned with the status quo. Motorcycle clubs are generally governed by a charter or bylaws. That is it. They don’t allow anyone outside the club to tell them how to run things. How much more (or less) should the church be concerned with the status quo?
• Motorcycle Clubs generally like to party. In all honesty, I’m pretty boring. I’m a family man now, which means I don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with people that aren’t my family or close friends…and that usually takes place at a home of some sort. But back in the day, I used to love going to parties and hanging out with people that I didn’t know, talking about who knows what. Some of my fondest memories of my early twenties are when I was a waiter because I would hang out with my coworkers after work, share stories, food, and beer. I can honestly say that I had more spiritual conversations open up during those late nights/early mornings than at any other time in my life. I loved every second of it. I’m not saying you should go down to the bar every night, but it wouldn’t hurt to venture outside of your comfort zone now and again. (I’m preaching to myself as much as anyone else here)

I could probably draw many more parallels, but these are just some of the thoughts that sprang to mind. The main thing is that I don’t see the Church actually being the Church as described in Acts 2 as often as I have seen Motorcycle Clubs be the Church.  Again, preaching as much to myself as anyone else here. I’m probably more at fault than anyone reading this. I need to re-examine my priorities so that my life displays the attributes of the Church more often. I need to be more missional in my daily life. My hope is that we are all daily moving toward a more missional life and focus.

In the circles in which I travel, there has been much talk about our (“our” being Christians, Ministers, etc) response to Barack Obama becoming the President-elect.  Most everyone agrees that following BIblical mandates regarding submitting to authority and also praying diligently for our soon-to-be president are good things. I’m with them.  (The conspiracy theory nut in me has some other ideas, but luckily my wife keeps me grounded.)  With that being said, I’d like to talk a bit about why I think people overwhelmingly, especially inside of Christian circles, voted for Obama and what I think that means. 

It is no secret that Obama is for social justice.  A look at his policies including health care reform, tax policies, and even closing the Guantanamo Bay Naval installment speak very loudly to the fact that he is very interested in social reform.  In the Christian world, we’ve become enamored with social justice, which I think is funny because isn’t that what we’re supposed to be about anyway? So here is a guy who says he is going to do a lot of stuff for the people that we want to help.  Cool!  He is also not the president that almost all of us voted for in the last two elections, but since he is so unpopular we no longer want to associate with him.  The only problem is that Obama’s social policies are not social justice in Biblical terms, they are social policies in governmental terms.  I’m all for government.  Small government that protects freedom and liberty among it’s people.  

The problem I see is that we’ve become enamored with the idea of social justice but don’t actually want to do the work of social justice.  We’d love for poor people to have more money.  We’d love to pay less taxes (which under Obama (or McCain), you probably won’t…The Fair Tax would be the way to go).  We’d love for everyone to have equal access to healthcare and education.  But somewhere along the line we’ve bought into the lie that these things are better left to the government.  Ask the good people in Africa how that is working for them.  Ask the people in Haiti how that is working for them.  Ask the people in Honduras how that is working for them. If it works so well, why do we use a lot of resources sending missionaries equipped with mobile clinics to heal these people?  Why isn’t their government taking care of them? 

The bottom line is that we need to be THE CHURCH.  We need to stop building church buildings and programs and put our money where our mouth is.  We need to be Gospel Incarnate and actually live out the things that we preach about.  We need to respond when Jesus tells us that we are to care for the sick, widows, and orphans.  We need to be sensitive to the needs around us and take action on them when we are able.  If we aren’t able, I guarantee that we know someone who is able.  

I might be preaching to the choir, but if that is so, then why do we still have Welfare, Food Stamps, and homeless people sleeping in the woods?  

Just something to think about.

Now, I’m not that geeky and most of what I know about these old technologies I’ve learned from Hollywood or books such as “The Computer that Wore Sneakers”.  My foray into the wonderful world of the information superhighway came sometime in the mid-Nineties when I would use my grandparent’s home computer to dial up (probably a 9600 or 14.4 modem I don’t remember) to America Online to research and occasionally chat.  Surely you remember those days?  During college I utilized AOL Instant Messenger exclusively and services like Yahoo and MSN were loathed by yours truly.  I used to chat a ton and always had IM active when I was online.  Then I would meet one person who used Yahoo or one person who used MSN Messenger.  Then cool services like Trillian and now the web based Meebo came out where you could have one central location to manage all of your contacts.  Today, Social Networking, which is pretty much what the early BBS and IM were, has exploded into tons of networks and services.

So what?  I was thinking today as I was reading a new blog that I stumbled upon by a guy named Paul Watson about the social nature of the internet. It seems that we’ve come full circle in terms of what we use the internet for.  Sure we can get the latest news, stock quotes, pay bills, buy stuff that we don’t even need, and conduct endless amounts of research.  But by and large the internet is still used for networking of the social and professional variety. Blogs, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Plurk, Forums, LinkedIn, and a whole bunch of other places are simply ways to connect with other people.

Paul’s blog has a ton of interesting info about reaching the online generation.  If you are a staff member or volunteer at a church, it is worth your time to take a minute to check his blog out.

I’ll be talking more about the online community and what I’ve done and what I would like to do to have a great impact more as the days go by.  The real eye opener behind all of this is that people are searching out connections and community in any way that they can get it.  What can we do to help fill this real need in people’s lives?

Perry Noble wrote a post that basically outlined the things that he is struggling with in terms of discipleship.  He mentioned a person wrote to others wondering what their churches were doing to make discipleship.  The caveat was that this could not be on Sunday mornings.  Being a pastor, Perry obviously didn’t agree with that point.  My thought is that discipleship must happen during gatherings such as Sunday worship.  Many churches have Bible teaching times outside of the worship setting as well.  I’ve seen this done tremendously well in a church plant I was on staff at in the Minneapolis area.  I was always impressed that we could gather 50 plus people for an hour each week and they engaged and implemented what we taught.  Amazing!  Should discipleship extend beyond Sunday mornings?  Certainly, but to say that it cannot and does not happen is simply insane.

Perry defined discipleship as teaching someone to walk with Jesus, picking them up when they fall down and teaching them to feed themselves.  Pretty straightforward definition if you ask me.  Perry did mention that it is difficult to make disciples without first having converts…not sure I agree totally there, but could be a matter of semantics and when the point of conversion actually happens.

Anyway..thoughts? Comments? Smart remarks?

Check out these guys for some more reading in this vein.

Chris Elrod

Brian Jones — He has a great series of posts on the idea of small groups….Loved it. Thanks, Brian.