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The Pain of Staying the Same

The Pain of Staying the Same

“We change our behavior when the pain of staying the same becomes greater than the pain of changing. Consequences give us the pain that motivates us to change.” — Henry Cloud

The Pain of Staying the Same

The above quote is one that I’ve heard attributed to many sources, but I really like how Dr. Cloud sums it up. This weekend, my pastor (on twitter @RLPASTORJ), mentioned a quote like this in his sermon and it really got me thinking. You see, I’ve battled a lot of things in the past 7 years having to do with my life, vocation, calling, jobs, work, ministry…call it all what you will but I’ve faced a lot of different choices/issues. I’ve tried various things that didn’t work out or didn’t work out as I had planned. I’ve wavered between doing many different things with myself. I’ve blown a whole lot of good things and not gone after some not as good things. I’m at a place where from the outside, people who don’t really understand my heart/calling would say I’m on a really solid career path with a bright future. I’m glad God has provided me a position where I can do a little good, make a decent living, and also have a good deal of fun. Outside of work, I’m doing various things that run alongside the gifts and talents I have been blessed with. I’ve got an incredible family; A wife that is straight out of Proverbs, a daughter that is so stinking awesome, and extended family who love us and we love so much. By all appearances, we’re living the dream, baby! And to be honest, a lot of the time we are.

The Pain of Staying the Same

We Change When the Pain of Staying the Same Becomes Greater than the Pain of Change

So, what does this really have to do with the quote that I started out with? Basically, I’m leading the same life I lead before we moved to Orlando. It is nearly the same, just without 6 months of really cold! Good job, good church, great family..same stuff, different town! Now, I like to learn, sometimes I just learn a little bit slow…And I’m basically at a point that the pain of staying the same is greater than the pain of changing.

Abandoning Dreams Because of Pain of Staying the Same is Medicated

You see, I think that many people that abandon their dreams simply settle because of the pain factor. I can see how it happens. You work your way up the corporate ladder, get that white picket fence (and maybe a house behind it), two cars in the driveway, and 2.5 kids in the bedrooms behind your front door. I’ve been in that home, and while there are struggles and challenges, it is really nice. It is a mostly painless life that is very easy to become comfortable with. I’ve tried. I really have. But for me, the pain of staying the same is greater than the changes that I need to make. It is happening, regardless if I really want it to. And you know what? Totally stoked! The pain that I’ll have to endure in the coming months is nothing compared to the pain of staying the same.

You feel me? Where are you at?

The Elephant in the Pew

These Elephants are Just Plain Pretty!

People that know me understand there are not a lot of things that get me fired up as much as God’s Church. I’ve devoted much of the past 16 years to serving in, dreaming about, preparing for service in, and helping others find their fit in Church. I absolutely think that one of God’s greatest tools is the Church globally and He is and will continue to use the Church to change the world. There is absolutely nothing on this earth that has the potential to impact and effect the world for good and Godly purposes than the Church. We cannot accomplish God’s mission for our lives apart from the Church.

The problem: There is an elephant in the pew and chances are it is you!

If you’ve been around any group of “church people” for any amount of time, you’ve probably noticed something. We like food, in fact we LOVE IT! We fully embrace that God called all food clean and live our lives in such a way to experience all aspects of His food! The churches that I grew up in and around had dinners, potlucks, picnics, gatherings, Life Groups, and even a small wafer and juice during the service! My wife’s home church has published cookbooks and certainly spent a lot of time dining with one another.

Our excuse: Fellowship. We see that Jesus dined with his disciples and followers to grow in relationship with them. I think that is important, but we just seem to have an affair with food. These potlucks are not filled with lettuce salads and grilled chicken breasts. They are filled with casseroles that contain three types of cream of something soup, noodles, and ground beef, along with a whole host of delicious but anti-nutritious foods.

Look around you the next time you’re in a church service. Chances are that many of the folks sitting near you will be overweight. I know these folks have hurts surrounding their weight. They are ashamed of how the look and feel, they go to great lengths to cover themselves up, and they also pretend it does not matter.  They’ve spent a lot of their lives dealing with this stuff and it really stinks! I’ve been there, done that, got the fat jeans. I’m not going back!

Leading from the Front

Many of us are called to serving in churches around the globe and God has given us great influence over His people. We are responsible for helping others live fully devoted, Christ centered lives. I’ve become convinced that there are a lot of areas that we really let these folks down. We don’t always teach them how to use God’s resources wisely by incurring debt as a church. We don’t always show them how to live out the Great Commission because we are too busy “working in the church”.  We also don’t lead well with our health and fitness. Make no mistake, church planters in particular, lead stress -filled lives. Stress induces a cortisol response in our bodies, which leads to those monster truck tires around our middle sections. Stress, at least for me, really makes me eat poorly, sleep poorly, and just funks me out!

One of the things that I’ve been encouraged by is Saddleback’s Daniel Plan, completely focused on getting an entire church healthy through eating right and moving. Simple? Yep! Do-able? Yep. If a church of 30,000 can do it, how much more effectively can a church of 50 do it?

Men and women leaders: How are you modeling health and wellness to those you lead? Make no mistake, people notice what you do. People notice how you lead your daily life. Take the steps that you need to do in order to get your bodily temple in order.

I’d love to walk with your through that…I’m no where near perfect, but I’m working my tail off(literally) to transform my body. Reach out and I’ll be glad to chat! Alternatively, head over to my fitness site at GetFitDaily.net!

So You Wanna Be a Black Belt?

Tonight during a sermon at Church, the preacher was talking about his journey from being a white belt in karate to a black belt. He explained that between white belt and black belt, there are numerous other belt colors that one must transcend through in order to obtain that illustrious black belt. For each belt there is a test that the student must pass in order to attain the next level. To attain the black belt, one must kick break a board that held above a dude’s head. This got me thinking about the church world, and more specifically my journey of exploring ministry.

Moment of candor and uncomfortable-ness: I’m just a white belt trying to break the highest board. Not that I haven’t served in ministry roles at all levels, but just doing some of the moves of a black belt doesn’t automatically qualify me to wear that belt. What I need is to work through the ranks, now I’m just trying to figure out where to start. I haven’t been in one place long enough and haven’t studied under one Sensei (or Rabbi, if you prefer) long enough to break that board. Not really sure what that says about me, but I’m thinking on it.

Partially I have this thought that I have been chasing this entirely opposite dream for a couple of years. You know what attracts me to that other dream? You go through schooling and then you’re “on the job”. Of course there is on the job training, but really in under a year you’re doing the job. So really you’re starting out at a green belt, which is obviously better than white. In ministry it isn’t quite so easy, you see, it is not always a quick process. In fact, you’ll probably stay a white belt for awhile, unless you’ve got Bruce Lee skills. It is more about development of your person, character, and gifting. It is more important that you stay a white belt so you can learn even more about God’s work on Earth. Let me tell you a secret about me: I’m impatient. I’m a product of the microwave generation. I also don’t eat enough humble pie (RDA by the USDA is at least 2 servings a day).

I’m currently doing a Bible Boot Camp with some dudes from Church. We are reading through the entire New Testament in 30 days. This couldn’t have come up at a better time. You know New Year’s Resolutions? Yeah, I made one this year to read the Bible a whole bunch. That happened for about 43 days. Now, I’m spending about an hour a day on exercising my body. I decided to honor God even further with my time and mind by giving Him an hour a day in reading/prayer/silence/listening. This Bible Boot Camp is just what I needed to supplement this time and really draw near to God during that time. Really looking forward to the rest of March!

How about you? Are you trying to break boards that are beyond your reach?

Lemonade Stand Philosophy

Did you have a lemonade/kool-aid stand as a kid? One of the most addicting games that I have played on my iPhone is Lemonde Stand Tycoon. You start out with a card table, a pitcher, some lemons, sugar, cups, and ice. As you use your business savvy, you upgrade your stand, your equipment, and your location. I eventually got to a point where I had so much money built up that I could not spend it all.

So what? I’ve been thinking a lot lately about business, ministry, and just life in general. I’ve been listening to a ton of podcasts (you remember those, right?), reading a ton of interesting material, and trying to map out plans for the future. So why am I thinking about lemonade stands?

I think the same principles that apply to growing a lemonade stand apply to pretty much every facet of business and ministry. You see, everyone starts somewhere. In both business and ministry, usually you start with nothing and grow into something. You use what you have to get your ministry or business positioned to grow and thrive. In business that usually means starting small used equipment and working alone, then expanding when resources become available. In ministry, particularly church planting, you start with two people (the pastor and his wife, plus any kids), and expand as God allows.

If everyone starts somewhere, in business or ministry, what are you doing TODAY that will get you to where you dream of being? What fires are you feeding in your soul that will grow your business, your ministry, or simply yourself?

ReNew Central Florida

Late one night last week I began pondering the idea of City Renewal. What would that look like? What does that even mean?

Why am I thinking about this whole concept? When we started this whole journey to Florida, I was enamored with the idea of organic ministry. The problem is that I think my idea of organic differs a bit from the widely used term. I think I view organic life as complete, as something where every aspect of life is so infused with the Gospel that they cannot be seen apart from each other. Organic life to me is something like Walt Disney envisioned for EPCOT, a community where you live, work, play, worship; where it all comes together, for better or worse.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been diving headlong into dreaming and praying. The nausea is still there, but the dreams and vision overcome that feeling. The city has been on my mind a ton. This place is dark, full of hurt, deceit, greed…and desperation. Overwhelmingly, people live an work with a ton of baggage and are like empty shells with no hope. Moreover, the gloom of economy has left properties that lay vacant, houses that are deteriorating, and local governments on the verge of collapse. WHEW! No wonder people are down! Of course, it isn’t all doom and gloom. Many sectors are on the rise, such as medicine and various research sectors.

So….City Renewal/Transformation. A lot of work to be done, but a great task! One person at a time….Starting with me!

Being Vomited Out of the Big Fish

It has been one heck of a ride. Over the past three years we have gone from having two very good jobs, a good church, great family near us to living many states away with more obstacles than I can outline here. The past two years have literally been the best of times and the worst of times. We have been stretched every which way from Sunday financially, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, but I can without a doubt say that we are in every way better off for it. Great things aren’t easy and easy things aren’t that great. I made a huge decision a few weeks ago that I can tell you was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I was basically one step away from a job that I have been trying to get for about two years…you know, one of those jobs that people dream of doing, with a great salary, great benefits, and a nice 20 year retirement. I had to tell them that I passed. The instant I did that, the peace that overcame our home is indescribable. Let me tell you why.

You may or may not know the story of Jonah. Basically, his life story as we know it takes up four chapters of the Old Testament. We read of Jonah’s journey from being a called prophet of God, to being a pleasure cruiser to a land far-far-away, his journey into the belly of a big fish, and finally his moment of fulfilling his calling from God. God called Jonah to this town called Ninevah…Jonah tried everything in his power to get the heck out of dodge.

Personally, the story of Jonah is one that I have basically lived through. Not sure what my ‘big fish’ is, but I’ve literally tried everything in my power to get out of this place that God called me to for about two years. If you’ve ever gotten yourself into a fight with God, you know what happens. YOU LOSE! In retrospect, it was pretty foolish to even think that I could win this one. I never claimed to be wise, only that I want to be used.

This whole picture didn’t really become too clear for me until this past weekend. As I was sitting in a worship gathering at Real Life, the pastor made an announcement that the church would be replanting yet another church into a campus of Real Life. I literally wanted to vomit. Justin mentioned that they are looking for a guy to go and be the planter/campus pastor. Again, nausea welled up in me.  You see, this group of people are meeting in the area and dreaming about the area that I have envisioned impacting…It is sort of like the Las Vegas Strip/Hollywood BLVD without all the glitz and glamor. The area is one of the most densely populated area in town, with a great deal of people that ‘church’ normally would not reach out to…homeless, prostitutes, drug dealers, and every-day-average-joes. That is why I wanted to vomit. I’m praying that we would be used there. We are in a place currently that we can commit to something huge and we’re ready to rumble! Really looking forward to what the future holds…because I know who holds the future.

Motorcycle Clubs and Christian Community

Maybe it is just me, but on most days I’d rather be in a Motorcycle Club than join or go to Church.  I’ve been watching a show called Sons of Anarchy on FX (via Hulu.com) and can’t help but think of what the Church would look like if it were more like a motorcycle club. Please realize that I didn’t gain my experience of motorcycle clubs from a TV show, I grew up being close to a lot of Club members.

  • Many motorcycle clubs are highly entrepreneurial.  That resonates with me. They find ways to make money, invest for the future, and also take care of not only their own people, but people in their communities.  Their endeavors are not limited to bars and strip clubs, but law firms, doctor’s offices, and countless other LEGAL operations. Bikers are huge supporters of Toys for Tots and also have tons of charity events throughout the year.  A great missional community aspect if you ask me.  We could learn a great deal from this by not just opening a coffee house or bookstore in a Business as Mission environment. Where else can we branch out? What other lines of business can be mutually beneficial?
  • They are fiercely loyal to family and friends. If you’ve got an issue, they have your back. No questions asked. In Church, if you’ve got an issue you’re probably scared to bring it up because of how you’ll be judged.  Don’t get me wrong, I’ve seen a lot of Churches that handle issues very well, but many don’t. Not just big issues, but just general life stuff.  You need a place to live? Crash on my couch. You need some food? Here is $50 bucks. You need a ride? I’ve got this old Ironside you can use until we can fix yours. Your old lady left you? Let me buy you a beer and we can talk about it.
  • They are not concerned with the status quo. I dare venture to guess that you’d never hear the President of a motorcycle club talk about how he is worried that the club down the street doesn’t like them or the club secretary report about all the calls they’ve gotten about the latest mailing they sent out.  They simply do what they do because it is what they do. How often is the Church concerned with the status quo. Motorcycle clubs are generally governed by a charter or bylaws. That is it. They don’t allow anyone outside the club to tell them how to run things. How much more (or less) should the church be concerned with the status quo?
  • Motorcycle Clubs generally like to party. In all honesty, I’m pretty boring. I’m a family man now, which means I don’t spend a lot of time hanging out with people that aren’t my family or close friends…and that usually takes place at a home of some sort. But back in the day, I used to love going to parties and hanging out with people that I didn’t know, talking about who knows what. Some of my fondest memories of my early twenties are when I was a waiter because I would hang out with my coworkers after work, share stories, food, and beer. I can honestly say that I had more spiritual conversations open up during those late nights/early mornings than at any other time in my life. I loved every second of it. I’m not saying you should go down to the bar every night, but it wouldn’t hurt to venture outside of your comfort zone now and again. (I’m preaching to myself as much as anyone else here)

I could probably draw many more parallels, but these are just some of the thoughts that sprang to mind. The main thing is that I don’t see the Church actually being the Church as described in Acts 2 as often as I have seen Motorcycle Clubs be the Church.  Again, preaching as much to myself as anyone else here. I’m probably more at fault than anyone reading this. I need to re-examine my priorities so that my life displays the attributes of the Church more often. I need to be more missional in my daily life. My hope is that we are all daily moving toward a more missional life and focus.

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