Tony Wheeler dot Net

A little more than 17 years has passed since I decided there was something missing from my life.  I remember clearly being at Pine Haven, the camp I went to and worked at for a good portion of my life, and responding to an altar call.  I spoke with my Cabin Dad about my decision and then when I returned home I spoke with my minister as well.  Later that week I was baptized.  Why am I thinking about this?

This past week a dear friend and minister of the Gospel passed away.  A man that has had and will continue to have a great impact on the Kingdom of God, David Kester.  A man that is dearly loved by many.  I was reading a transcript of the Eulogy that was delivered at his funeral by another friend and was deeply moved.  Not really by the words (although they were moving as well), but by the man whom the words were spoken about.  It dawned on me that one of the differences between David and myself is that David truly lead a Gospel Centered Life.  He understood that the Gospel isn’t something that we simply preach, it is something that we are.  The Gospel isn’t something that we read and write about, it is something that we embody.  Do we need to use words?  Sometimes.  Is the Kingdom impact even greater when we’re able to be the incarnation of the Gospel that we preach?  Indeed.

How is this done?  One of the things that struck me in reading my friend’s tribute to David was my memory of this man.  He was one of the wisest people I’ve ever met.  On the other hand, one of the funniest and most sarcastic people I’ve ever met.  His embodiment of the Gospel was simply by being him.  Sure, he was a pastor, a board member, a committee person, an author, but he was mostly just David.  I think that I often try to compartmentalize my personalities.  No, I’m not in need of medication.  I’m in need of repentance and repair, however.  It isn’t that I try to be someone I’m not.  It isn’t even that I’m dramatically different in the different sectors of my life.  I simply want to live a Gospel Centered Life.  I want my life to make even half the impact that David’s had.  I want my relationship with Jesus to be as personal as David’s.  I think that, more than anything, is what I’ve just now realized.  How can I invite people into a relationship that isn’t even that personal.  Oh sure, I have a lot of personal closeness with Jesus.  But thinking of the life of my friend David reminds me that I can be closer.  it isn’t a challenge to see who can be closer.  At the end of the day, David’s life was simply about helping people become closer to Jesus.  Thank You, Dave.  You’ll be missed until we meet again.

Today I dug out my copy of Morning and Evening by Charles Spurgeon.  I was reminded of this little book when I was reading my friend Chris Elrod’s blog a few days ago.

I was sitting at our kitchen table drinking an iced coffee and eating leftover pizza (the bachelor lifestyle!) reading what I thought was today’s entry.  Turns out it was actually yesterday’s, but since I slept until 4pm yesterday I guess I’m a day behind.  The verse for the entry is from Ezekiel and it says,

“Stand still, and see the salvation of the Lord.”
–Exodus 14:13

Spurgeon says, ” These words contain God’s command to the believer when he is reduced to great straits and brought into extraordinary difficulties. He cannot retreat; he cannot go forward; he is shut up on the right hand and on the left; what is he now to do? The Master’s word to him is, “Stand still.” …–keep the posture of an upright man, ready for action, expecting further orders, cheerfully and patiently awaiting the directing voice; and it will not be long ere God shall say to you, as distinctly as Moses said it to the people of Israel, “Go forward.”

I’m in an interesting season of life right now.  We’ve recently relocated to another state, changed jobs (including a halving of salary), and feel a tremendous force upon us to ‘do’ something.  I’m encouraged by the words of C.H. Spurgeon.  I’m here, standing still, waiting.

How many times have you chosen to serve or bow down to something or someone other than God?  How many times have you traded the good things of God for the garbage of this world?  I’ve gotta tell you, I’ve done it thousands, probably millions of times.

I’ve had this thought in my head for the last couple of months.  I’ve been playing back this one sentence from Romans 1 over and over.  When I’m thinking about all of the stresses of this life that are weighing on me like a ton of bricks, I think about the lies that are behind that stress.  I miss the beauty of the truth of God in the mess of life, when fact of the matter is that the truth of God is the beauty of the mess.  Often I talk with people who wonder why bad things happen to good people or why if God called them to do something then why are they struggling financially or physically or emotionally?  God never said it would be easy.  He never said it would be without trials.  In fact, he guarantees that there will be.  The truth of the matter is that in the face of those trials is where the beauty of God’s Kingdom is found.  I think about our own situation, our own mess.  I go back and forth in my mind with God about what He wants us to do here.  I struggle with trading the truth of God in the beauty of the mess for the lies that the world and those around me are telling me.  We knew coming in that it would be hard and I’m stepping it up big time.  I’m pressing on, I’m living in the beauty of the mess.  I reflected on this beauty the other day when I was on break at work.  I was sitting in a break room with a guy in a wheelchair who is from Haiti, a Chinese girl and a Puerto Rican girl and we were all talking to each other.  I glimpsed the Kingdom in that moment.

Exchanging the truth of God for a lie can look different for everyone.  It could be the porn addict exchanging the truth of God for the lie that the woman/man on the computer screen wants them.  It could be the work-a-holic that trades his family for cash.  It could be the school kid who cheats on the exam.

For me, it is the things of my past that I exchange for the truth of God.  I’m letting go.  I’m trading in the lies for the Truth.  Going back into the beauty of the Truth.

“…if we restrict our discipleship to special religious times, the majority of our waking hours will be isolated from the manifest presence of the kingdom in our lives”.  Dallas Willard in The Divine Conspiracy

It is pretty crazy that I just cranked out 5, now 6 posts in one single day!  God has been building all of that stuff in me and it is time that I let it all out.

Sorry that I dumped it all on you at once…I could have used time delay, but frankly I couldn’t wait to get all that out!

Thanks for reading!

Just checking.  Sorry to throw a monkey wrench in your reading!  Love ya!

I was doing some random reading tonight on some different blogs that I do not subscribe to and stumbled upon a great post from a dude named David Hayward.  To further solidify the thoughts that are jumbling around in my mind for yourself, please go check out one of his posts called “Revolution of the Mind”.

He is much less abrasive than I am.  I honestly don’t mean to bash anyone, because we are all in this together.  I just get frustrated easily and my sounding board is out of the country (or so I think…Are you out there?).