Tony Wheeler dot Net

Late one night last week I began pondering the idea of City Renewal. What would that look like? What does that even mean?

Why am I thinking about this whole concept? When we started this whole journey to Florida, I was enamored with the idea of organic ministry. The problem is that I think my idea of organic differs a bit from the widely used term. I think I view organic life as complete, as something where every aspect of life is so infused with the Gospel that they cannot be seen apart from each other. Organic life to me is something like Walt Disney envisioned for EPCOT, a community where you live, work, play, worship; where it all comes together, for better or worse.

Over the past couple of weeks I’ve been diving headlong into dreaming and praying. The nausea is still there, but the dreams and vision overcome that feeling. The city has been on my mind a ton. This place is dark, full of hurt, deceit, greed…and desperation. Overwhelmingly, people live an work with a ton of baggage and are like empty shells with no hope. Moreover, the gloom of economy has left properties that lay vacant, houses that are deteriorating, and local governments on the verge of collapse. WHEW! No wonder people are down! Of course, it isn’t all doom and gloom. Many sectors are on the rise, such as medicine and various research sectors.

So….City Renewal/Transformation. A lot of work to be done, but a great task! One person at a time….Starting with me!

It has been one heck of a ride. Over the past three years we have gone from having two very good jobs, a good church, great family near us to living many states away with more obstacles than I can outline here. The past two years have literally been the best of times and the worst of times. We have been stretched every which way from Sunday financially, spiritually, emotionally, and relationally, but I can without a doubt say that we are in every way better off for it. Great things aren’t easy and easy things aren’t that great. I made a huge decision a few weeks ago that I can tell you was probably one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. I was basically one step away from a job that I have been trying to get for about two years…you know, one of those jobs that people dream of doing, with a great salary, great benefits, and a nice 20 year retirement. I had to tell them that I passed. The instant I did that, the peace that overcame our home is indescribable. Let me tell you why.

You may or may not know the story of Jonah. Basically, his life story as we know it takes up four chapters of the Old Testament. We read of Jonah’s journey from being a called prophet of God, to being a pleasure cruiser to a land far-far-away, his journey into the belly of a big fish, and finally his moment of fulfilling his calling from God. God called Jonah to this town called Ninevah…Jonah tried everything in his power to get the heck out of dodge.

Personally, the story of Jonah is one that I have basically lived through. Not sure what my ‘big fish’ is, but I’ve literally tried everything in my power to get out of this place that God called me to for about two years. If you’ve ever gotten yourself into a fight with God, you know what happens. YOU LOSE! In retrospect, it was pretty foolish to even think that I could win this one. I never claimed to be wise, only that I want to be used.

This whole picture didn’t really become too clear for me until this past weekend. As I was sitting in a worship gathering at Real Life, the pastor made an announcement that the church would be replanting yet another church into a campus of Real Life. I literally wanted to vomit. Justin mentioned that they are looking for a guy to go and be the planter/campus pastor. Again, nausea welled up in me.  You see, this group of people are meeting in the area and dreaming about the area that I have envisioned impacting…It is sort of like the Las Vegas Strip/Hollywood BLVD without all the glitz and glamor. The area is one of the most densely populated area in town, with a great deal of people that ‘church’ normally would not reach out to…homeless, prostitutes, drug dealers, and every-day-average-joes. That is why I wanted to vomit. I’m praying that we would be used there. We are in a place currently that we can commit to something huge and we’re ready to rumble! Really looking forward to what the future holds…because I know who holds the future.

In the past few months I have been through a barrage of medical tests for various reasons, mostly a similar physical examination. As a part of these tests I have had some hearing tests and found out that I have some mino hearing loss in the very high frequencies. While I am not sure what that means for some of the things that I’ve been set upon doing, I have been learning much about listening.

How often have you been in a conversation and had to ask the speaker to repeat? In all honesty, I do it every night when I’m talking to my wife on the phone. I’m listening in my other ear to another set of conversations, so I can really only hear one ear at a time. Too much input and I cannot compute. In my personal life, I have learned that I have been listening to too many conversations at once. I’m asking the most important speaker in the conversational cluster to repeat Himself. We love living here. We love the places that we’re involved in. We love that we can spend pretty much everyday outside. I personally love that my wife freaks out about bugs. What am I saying? Part of what I’m really hearing is that we are where we are supposed to be. Some good things are on the horizon for me in my work life, so one of the main things that really is a struggle and keeps me from doing all the things that I already heard from God is being taken care of. This process is not easy and it is actually a bit humorous that I’ve had to have minor hearing loss in order for me to hear all this. I mean really hear!

What about you? What areas of your life are you turning a deaf ear to? What part of the conversation do you need to hear again? I’d love to hear some of your story….

One of the comments on my previous post talked about tying your identity to what you do to earn a living. I think that comment is spot on. Think about the last time you met someone new. Probably the first question that either of you asked had something to do with what you do to earn money. For many people, this might be okay. I think that I struggle greatly with this because no matter how I earn money, I’m so much more than that. I’m a Jesus Follower, husband, father, craftsman of sorts, amatuer coffee roaster, motorcycle enthusiast….and the list could go on.

I’ve been thinking about how I will answer the next time someone asks me what I do. Not sure yet, but I’m sure that it will be something good!

Where did the idea of putting people in little boxes come from? I’m not sure, but I do know that the entire story of human history is woven with stories of people identified by what they did for money. This past week I have been reading Chronicles and was confronted by all the lists of people who were ientified by their role. Everyone had a job to do and had their name and role recorded in the annals of time. Were they something else outside of that role? Sure. But to some extent their “job” defined their place in history.

I think that is the part that I struggle with. I want my place in history to count. Not that I want to be recorded for generations to come to read about, I just want my life to matter.

Your thoughts?

I’ve been mulling over a thought for the past few weeks centered around identity. Countless people in my sphere of influence struggle with what I think is a crisis of identity. I’m certainly grouping myself inside the crisis circle. As I reflect over the past 31 years of my life (today marking the start of my 31st year), I cannot help but reflect on the choices, paths, relationships, careers, and education that have made up my life.

While I do not wish that any of these things were different, I cannot help but try to read the real motivation behind them. I’ve come to the conclusion that it boils down to identity. Many of the careers that I have pursued have distinct identity associated with them. Police Officer, Pastor, Motorcycle mechanic, zoologist, doctor…all of them hold a distinct identity. So what does that say about me? It says I’m normal. It says that for the most part I’m not sure who I really am. A lot of the deep introspection that I’ve been doing lately has revealed that I’m just a dude who loves God, loves my family (and therefore want to care for them well), and loves people. I’m pretty sure I have said it many times before, but basically that is who I am and at the end of the day that is who I want to be known and remembered for. Sure, there are a lot of things that I want to accomplish in this life. Lots of dreams in my heart and mind, but those are really secondary until they become primary in their own time.

What about you? Do you struggle with identity? Are you okay with who you are, or are you like me and waste substantial time and energy trying to be someone else? How can we encourage each other in this journey?

I’m just a fellow sojourner…praying for your journey!

In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was in the beginning with God. All things were made through him, and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life, and the life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

  John 1:1-5

In the beginning was the Word. He was with God and he was God.  Everything in existence was made by him and through him.  In the beginning was this man named Jesus.  We’ve been studying this man named Jesus’ life for the past few months in our worship gatherings at Real Life and it has certainly been interesting.  I always love to hear other people’s takes on scripture and the story of God and humanity and Real Life has some gifted teachers who bring new life to old stories.  This morning was no different.  Allow me to share a bit about my take on what the preacher shared. 

You’ve may or may not have read the Gospel of Matthew in which he records the genealogy of Jesus.  I say you may not have read this record simply because most people don’t.  Unless you are Mormon or really into genealogy, you probably skim over it like I have done many times.  The intersting thing about this section (and book) is that it is written primarily for Jews.  Jews would probably have taken great interest in what Matthew laid out.  Who is this man named Jesus?  Well, he was begotten by Joseph, the son of Jacob, the son of Matthan, the son of Eleazar…..You get the idea.  In all, 42 generations spanned from Abraham to Jesus.  A  Jew reading these names would know most all of them.  Names like David, Solomon, Uriah, Josiah, Obed, Ruth, Jesse, Rahab, Tamar…All ‘famous’ names in Jewish writings.  Some of these folks accomplished great things.  Some of these folks did great things…Most of these folks had something in their past or present lives that would exclude them from looking great on the outside. David, one of the most beloved Kings in all of World history, an adulterer.  Solomon, the wisest person to ever live.  Josiah, the good king.  Rahab, a friend to spies, but also a friend to many, many men who left money on the bedside table before leaving.  Tamar, a likely candidate for the Jerry Springer show because she pretended to be a prostitute so that she could seduce her father-in-law in order to bear a child in his line.  

The line of people that God chose to use in order to fulfill literally hundreds of prophecies simply amazes me.  And it gives me hope.  If there is hope for people like Tamar and Rahab and David and Jechoniah, then there is certainly hope for the rest of us.  If you think your family line is disfunctional, take a look at Jesus’ family line.  There are more miscreants and screw ups in this line that you shake a stick at!  I’m still amazed that I get a great deal of traffic to this site from the phrase “I suck at everything I do”.  If you’re here because you think that, this message is especially for you.

What is God’s message through all of this? His message is this (quotation and paraphrase mine): 

 ”I’ve been working through the entire span of human history, using ordinary, messed up people to accomplish what I wanted to do from the beginning.  What is that, you might ask?  I’ve been searching for you.  I’ve been longing for you to be near me so much that I used a long line of adulterers, prostitutes, and really bad kings to give you this man named Jesus.  All of history has been building toward this day, this day when I can be reunited with you, my child.  I love you.”

Christmas is undoubtedly a special time, even for people who don’t celebrate the birth of Christ.  Record attendence at churches across the land show time and again that there is still something amazing about this man named Jesus.  This year, more than ever,  Christmas is returning to the celebration of this man.  The glitz and glamour of presents and wrapping paper are fading, people are being humbled by life’s curveballs, and they are returning to the Bethlehem manger to gaze at the Christ child.  Whatever your leaning, I implore you to take a moment and relect on the monumentous accomplishments of God through a bunch of misfits to bring you grace, love, and peace through this man named Jesus.  At the risk of sounding corny, He is the reason for the season. 

From our family to yours, have a merry and blessed Christmas!  We wish you nothing but God’s blessing in the New Year and pray that you would start living life with this man named Jesus. 

The internet is a funny place.  Many moons ago, before Al Gore invented the internet, people used really neat technology to call other computers or servers.  Basically these computers would talk to each other and the owners could transmit 1s and 0s to each other in nifty green screen or if you were lucky orange screen.  They would also dial into a central computer and use something called BBS.  BBS was the early form of online community.

Now, I’m not that geeky and most of what I know about these old technologies I’ve learned from Hollywood or books such as “The Computer that Wore Sneakers”.  My foray into the wonderful world of the information superhighway came sometime in the mid-Nineties when I would use my grandparent’s home computer to dial up (probably a 9600 or 14.4 modem I don’t remember) to America Online to research and occasionally chat.  Surely you remember those days?  During college I utilized AOL Instant Messenger exclusively and services like Yahoo and MSN were loathed by yours truly.  I used to chat a ton and always had IM active when I was online.  Then I would meet one person who used Yahoo or one person who used MSN Messenger.  Then cool services like Trillian and now the web based Meebo came out where you could have one central location to manage all of your contacts.  Today, Social Networking, which is pretty much what the early BBS and IM were, has exploded into tons of networks and services.

So what?  I was thinking today as I was reading a new blog that I stumbled upon by a guy named Paul Watson about the social nature of the internet. It seems that we’ve come full circle in terms of what we use the internet for.  Sure we can get the latest news, stock quotes, pay bills, buy stuff that we don’t even need, and conduct endless amounts of research.  But by and large the internet is still used for networking of the social and professional variety. Blogs, Myspace, Facebook, Twitter, Plurk, Forums, LinkedIn, and a whole bunch of other places are simply ways to connect with other people.

Paul’s blog has a ton of interesting info about reaching the online generation.  If you are a staff member or volunteer at a church, it is worth your time to take a minute to check his blog out.

I’ll be talking more about the online community and what I’ve done and what I would like to do to have a great impact more as the days go by.  The real eye opener behind all of this is that people are searching out connections and community in any way that they can get it.  What can we do to help fill this real need in people’s lives?