Being Thrown Through Windows with Your Eyes Wide Shut
I’ve been listening to a podcast series from Mosaic lately. Particularly one message that has been fueling my soul. The entire series speaks of living the unique life that God designed you to live. One of the things that Erwin talks at length about is living beyond our past. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve met in my life who let their past hinder them from living a unique life presently. I can’t tell you how many times that I have personally allowed my past, specifically the words that others spoke into my life, to hinder me from living the unique life that God designed me to live.
Let’s have an example, shall we? My parents were divorced pretty soon after my arrival to earth. My mom had her share of ups and downs in life, but she worked hard to ensure that we were taken care of. Most of the time when I was growing up she had many jobs just so we could squeak by. During my school-age years, I was a latch-key kid, meaning that I was home alone a lot. I was fine, don’t get me wrong, but that fact lends itself to the story. So here I was, a kid of a single mom who was pretty much left to his own devices because his mom HAD to work a lot. To put it another way, I was a poor white kid without a dad at home. All these factors lead a person in my family to predict that I would basically amount to nothing in life, that I would be dead or in jail by the time I was eighteen. The funny thing is that not only was he in jail many times by the time I was eighteen, but his son, who is the same age as I am, has found himself comfortable in and out of the judicial system. So what made the difference in my life? What didn’t my family member count on? He had no idea that I would become a follower of Jesus. I often say that I became a worse person after I met Jesus, but truth of the matter is that I only became aware of the things that I did that were wrong after I became a Jesus Follower.
So what does all this have to do with living a unique life? Personally, I could keep hearing the words of my family members who would have me fail at life. I could let the words of the kids on the playground calling me names ring in my ears. I could allow those thoughts hinder me from living this abundant life. But I won’t. I wish I could say that I don’t think about these people who are only out to bring me down, but I can’t. I can control how this effects me, however. Are there people who have spoken negatively into your life? There is something about humanity that drives us to make fun of/speak negatively of that which we don’t understand or that which we fear. I’m guessing that my uncle saw something in me that he feared. He feared that I would live a life that is unique and that I would somehow live a life that mattered. I’m pretty sure that he feels that his life doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t say that his life doesn’t matter, but I will say that the things that he chooses to do with his life are negatively impacting his ability to live a life that does make a difference for humanity. (If for some odd reason you’re reading this, get in touch with me. I’ll buy you a beer and we can talk. Seriously.)
Back to the sermons. In the one that I have listened to several times now, Erwin tells a story about he and some of his friends making a short film. One of the stunts that he did required him to be thrown through a glass window. Not Hollywood glass, but glass glass. The only problem was that he wasn’t actually thrown through the window, he had to jump through the window. That takes considerably more effort and determination than being thrown by someone else. The good news in this situation was that there were pyrotechnics rigged to the glass so that the exact moment that Erwin was going through the glass, the glass would shatter and he could land safely on the other side. But, he still had to throw himself at the window. He mentioned that much of the time we expect that God will orchestrate our stunts, so to speak. Many of us stand by waiting on God to make it all happen. And we keep waiting. And waiting. And waiting. You get the point. Erwin then said that there are portions of this unique life that we have to do for ourselves. We don’t like to hear that we have to throw ourselves at the glass window. We don’t like not knowing if the pyrotechnics will actually work and we can land safely on the other side. I was telling my wife about this idea and her response was simply, “I don’t like it.” She has way more faith than I could ever muster and teaches me more about God every day than in 7 years of Bible College, but when it comes to the more ‘mystical’ and experiential side of this journey of faith and life, she isn’t sure what to think. Funny, she is an artsy type who should get this. She is also a very literal thinker.
Throwing yourself through the glass window with your eyes wide shut. You want to do it. I want to do it. But, it is much easier to be thrown. God sometimes needs to discover that we will in fact throw ourselves through the window. We are at that point in our lives where He is seeing what we will do. I’m becoming more confident that he will ignite the charges at the exact time that we jump through the window. It is awesome and it sucks all at once. But it is coming together. We are destined to live a unique life. You are destined to live a unique life. What glass windows do you need to jump through?
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