Let Me Tell You Why I Suck
Been doing a lot of introspection lately. One of the things that I have never been good at is pointing out my weaknesses. Think of that strange moment of silence while sitting in a job interview and the interviewer asks you about your weaknesses. I’ve been there a number of times and usually end up spitting out some junk about something. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to dig deep and figure it all out…but don’t do it well.
In the interest of self disclosure, let me tell you why I suck.
- I am a fixer by nature. If there is a problem, I probably think I have the answer and I want to be a part of the solution. I want to fix things that other people don’t even know are broken. I want to fix things at the expense of other things that need my full attention.
- I struggle in my walk with God. I don’t always read the Bible and pray like I should. It is not easy when life is going a thousand miles per hour to etch out time with God. In reality, this is the priority over everything else. It takes determination and stick-to-it-ivness.
- I am an extremely selfish person. Having a daughter made me realize this. It isn’t about me anymore. Truth be told, it never was.
- When the going gets tough, I want to quit. There are days when I want to quit my job, my ministry, my business and almost anything that can be tough. The old saying goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I guess I’m not that tough. I’ve had some serious victories in this area of my life like graduating college and committing to one person for the rest of my life. Fact of the matter is, I still struggle with wanting to quit. I know that the things that I work the hardest for or fight the hardest to keep are the things worth doing/having, but sometimes my feet don’t believe that.
- I am totally insecure. I take it very personally when I am criticized, no matter what the subject. I don’t think that I am good enough or smart enough. I think that someone else would be better suited to do the things that God has called me to do.
What does all this mean? It means that at the end of the day, I am still a man in need of a savior. I need Jesus as much as the next guy. I have many more areas of weakness than I care to admit to myself or to anyone else. I have to work on this every day of my life…There are no rest periods because if I rest, then I start to believe the lies that are found in the preceding list.
The second sermon series I’m preaching: “Let Me Tell You Why I Suck as a Pastor.” This would of course feature a post-mortem cameo from Chris Farley as Tommy Boy.
Peace Out.
T-
Truth be told we all feel the same way. Some just hide it better than others and others collapse when they hear what others see or don’t see in them. One thing is sure. By going public and admitting “why I suck” is a bold step in freedom and hanging on the saving power of Jesus Christ. “In our weakness, he makes us strong.”
#1 on my list is INSECURITY…. always has been, always will be. I know who I am and who I m not. But far too often I feel others can see right through and they laugh.
So there…. you’re not alone with these feelings, even inspite of the calling of God in your life.
Rich
If it is any consolation, I can relate. Maybe we can throw an ‘I SUCK!’ BBQ. We can all sit around the fire and take turns admiting our struggles(why we suck). I would stand up and say, ‘My name is Bill and I suck at everything.’ Really, I don’t suck at EVERYTHING, but it is quite a long list.
Funny thing is that I don’t have a problem admiting my failings, but one has to be careful. I can wear this as some sort of ‘badge of honor’ and rather than be humbled by my shortcomings; they become a source of pride. I tend to be rather self-deprecating. Truthfully, I think I have some good qualities and am happy to be me.
I don’t think that I am insecure. It doesn’t bother me if someone criticizes/teases me. I can take it in stride. On the otherhand, I like to tease and you remind me that I should be cautious. Sometimes I tease people that I don’t know well and who don’t know me. I don’t intend to hurt anyones feelings, but there is a chance that I do. I have to remember to bite my tongue sometimes.
Rich — Wrote this post not so much to reassure myself that I suck, but to let other people know that I suck and it is okay to suck. Knowing who you are and who you aren’t is absolutely one of the best things ever.
Bill — I’ll bring the ribs.
Hello. My name is Jeff and I am a struggler. I mean, ‘I suck.’ Is it ok to say that on TV? Oh wait, this isn’t on TV? Man… I do suck….
I am with you point by point in areas you suck at. I constantly think I am not good at anything. I know this isn’t true but I can rattle off a list of my failings in a heart beat. Ask me to list my strengths and I end up with a blank sheet of paper in front of me. It is valuable to have a good view of the areas you struggle with. But I continually find myself living in the lull of suckdom. It is not a great place to be and if it were not for people around me to tell me my strengths, I am not sure I would ever pull myself out of suckdom. So I guess the balance is to have a realistic view of your suckiness as well as the giftings you have, the things you can do extrordinarily well. I for one suck at finding the extrordinary and can only find the sewage from the kingdom of suckdom.
So will there be some John Hardy’s at this BBQ? Now that would be extrordinary.
Does John Hardy attend Journey Church? Have I met him?? And I thought the ONE thing I didn’t suck at was being a ‘greeter’.
*smile*
If John Hardy came to Journey there would be much better BBQ activities than we now have. I think Mr. Hardy should stop by sometime. I’d even take him to Roscoe’s for lunch.
I Suck at Everything I do in Life (November 3, 2007, 2:52 pm).
[...] title of this post has led a number of people to this blog via keyword searches. In August I wrote a post that outlined some areas of my life that I was felling pretty sucky at. Evidently, there are a lot of people who feel that the suck at things in life. In all honesty, [...]
I could read off your list as my own, buddy, and it would sum up the way I feel too, except I openly admit my problems and have to often say sorry for something simple or unnoticable. Walking with God is probably the hardest for me now. I promise God my life and ask Jesus to save me but I dont read Bible, tell people about Jesus, or try to go to church. Now Im depressed. Ive been depressed for some time but it seems to get a little worse all of the time. I think about death a lot. It doesnt scare me. Id actually welcome it, but I know God doesnt want that. And I dont feel God near me like I used to when I was a kid. I also suck at everything lol. So dont feel alone. Im only a kid (18) but believe me, my mind is always working on a question (mostly unanswerable ones). Just dont give up on The Lord man. I don’t think you will.