Been doing a lot of introspection lately. One of the things that I have never been good at is pointing out my weaknesses. Think of that strange moment of silence while sitting in a job interview and the interviewer asks you about your weaknesses. I’ve been there a number of times and usually end up spitting out some junk about something. I’ve tried on numerous occasions to dig deep and figure it all out…but don’t do it well.
In the interest of self disclosure, let me tell you why I suck.
- I am a fixer by nature. If there is a problem, I probably think I have the answer and I want to be a part of the solution. I want to fix things that other people don’t even know are broken. I want to fix things at the expense of other things that need my full attention.
- I struggle in my walk with God. I don’t always read the Bible and pray like I should. It is not easy when life is going a thousand miles per hour to etch out time with God. In reality, this is the priority over everything else. It takes determination and stick-to-it-ivness.
- I am an extremely selfish person. Having a daughter made me realize this. It isn’t about me anymore. Truth be told, it never was.
- When the going gets tough, I want to quit. There are days when I want to quit my job, my ministry, my business and almost anything that can be tough. The old saying goes, “When the going gets tough, the tough get going.” I guess I’m not that tough. I’ve had some serious victories in this area of my life like graduating college and committing to one person for the rest of my life. Fact of the matter is, I still struggle with wanting to quit. I know that the things that I work the hardest for or fight the hardest to keep are the things worth doing/having, but sometimes my feet don’t believe that.
- I am totally insecure. I take it very personally when I am criticized, no matter what the subject. I don’t think that I am good enough or smart enough. I think that someone else would be better suited to do the things that God has called me to do.
What does all this mean? It means that at the end of the day, I am still a man in need of a savior. I need Jesus as much as the next guy. I have many more areas of weakness than I care to admit to myself or to anyone else. I have to work on this every day of my life…There are no rest periods because if I rest, then I start to believe the lies that are found in the preceding list.
The second sermon series I’m preaching: “Let Me Tell You Why I Suck as a Pastor.” This would of course feature a post-mortem cameo from Chris Farley as Tommy Boy.
Peace Out.